Episode Transcript
[00:00:05] Speaker A: Ah, thanks, Fred. You bought me a coffee about a week ago and I'm enjoying it now.
The title of this episode will be Existential Essentials. It's an absolute wacky dumb birthday game from September 12, 1992. However, a bonus clip begins the festivities from September 7.
A call from Monadnock.
For the uninitiated, Monadnock, real first name Jerome, was a regular caller to the overnight shows on wbz, always filled with wild mystery and conspiracy.
I recall one time when he claimed that the government was watching him throw a light bulb in his home.
He does not disappoint here as he takes the liberty to inform us that his generation was was brought up on propaganda. The topics covered a New Jersey story about an apparition of the Virgin Mary appearing to a man and the possibility that it was all done by the government and the military. I began to play dramatic mystery music during the call.
He continues, Wayne Gretzky was involved. Monadnock was drugged and his teeth were stained.
Now I added echo to create the disembodied voice of Uncle Norm.
We also learned that Liza Minnelli was in on it. The Red Sox are involved and he's been unjustly hospitalized over 15 times.
God bless you, Monadnock. We love you.
Now, from the sublime to the ridiculous, it's dumb birthday game time. The players, Jay and Burlington Rose from Wellesley, who's the mom of Debbie, Kim and Needham. Fran from Rhode Island, I'm producing and playing in studio. And Jack Hart from the WBZ traffic reporting staff.
The birthdays, Maria Muldauer, Barry White. Then we move to September 15th for Norm Crosby and Jackie Cooper. Next the 16th, Peter Falk and Lauren Bacall and B.B.
[00:02:09] Speaker B: King.
[00:02:09] Speaker A: And then the 17th, John Ritter and Anne Bancroft.
We get treated to some commercials. Baby Gold Bond with Grandma Karen Miller from Robbinsdale, Minnesota. Classic Ovaltine. A WBZ promo for the New England Patriots season opener voiced by Gil Santos. And later on the Federal Jobs Digest. And we close it all with a call of desperation from Wolfie.
Oh, check that. Lastly, Norm is back after the news and intros. Jack and traffic and. And more madness ensues. But alas, it does get cut off. Episode 252 Existential Essentials theorizes its way to your ears now.
[00:02:56] Speaker B: Hey, it's my friend Monadnock. Jerome, how you doing?
[00:02:59] Speaker C: Hey, good morning, Norm.
[00:03:00] Speaker B: Good morning.
[00:03:01] Speaker C: How you doing?
[00:03:02] Speaker B: Hey, I'm doing great. I'm doing fantastically well.
How are you doing? You doing fantastically well too?
[00:03:08] Speaker C: Not too bad, thanks.
[00:03:09] Speaker B: Good.
What can I do for you this morning.
[00:03:13] Speaker C: Well, if I may take the liberty of filling the public in.
What happened is I was born in 1954.
[00:03:26] Speaker B: Oh, well, I'm glad you brought us up to date with that. What do I write that down? 1954. Okay. I say I had a. I left that space open on my.
On my sheet here. And I'm glad you fill that in. Anything else we have to fill in.
[00:03:41] Speaker C: For the Generation born from 54 after you were brought up on propaganda.
And if I may explain, there's a story now in the news about New Jersey about the Virgin Mary appearing to a gentleman.
That scenario, if I'm correct again, I can't prove anything. So let people understand this thing about the Virgin Mary apparition.
This may have been created by the United States military.
The incident at Madagoria, I believe, in Yugoslavia.
If you look closely, these people are imposters.
But just who they are. United States Navy, medical profession.
I just want to bring that forth to the public. And like your sports teams, keep in mind after 54, through the television, the medium of television, people were brought up on this and I just thought I'd bring it forth to the public so that they understand.
And.
[00:05:23] Speaker B: What should we understand?
[00:05:26] Speaker C: That it's all a form of delusion through television.
I don't know who's behind a police force or Canada military, but they create practically all the news stories and so on and so forth.
Another example is your sports teams. I happened to see Wayne Gretzky on a team, I mean, on a talk show, and he admitted he was part of this so called conspiracy.
Wayne Gretzky, believe it or not, he's like symbolic of what I should look like if they had not drugged me.
[00:06:19] Speaker B: Believe it or not, I believe you, my son.
[00:06:24] Speaker C: So that people are informed.
Wayne Gretzky is something, what I guess I would have looked like if they had not stained my teeth. They drugged me. Stained my teeth.
[00:06:38] Speaker B: We drugged you and we stained your teeth for a reason, Jerome.
I hope the reason is becoming very clear to you now.
[00:06:54] Speaker C: And whoever ganged up on me, they used the media. A lot of these performers, like Liza Minnelli, I believe she said on Phil Donahue that she came from Canada.
[00:07:10] Speaker B: She does not come from Canada, my son, but she is one of my agents.
[00:07:21] Speaker C: It goes on and on. It's really something how they use the television to create this illusion of people being wealthy and where in fact it.
It's all done through the government.
[00:07:38] Speaker B: It's not done through the government, my son. It's done through Me, a disembodied voice looking at you right now.
[00:07:51] Speaker C: If I may continue. There's a police officer that you hear them talking through. You hear them talking during Red Sox games, Bruins games.
They wanted me to deal with the issue.
This particular man claims that I was violent, but in defense of myself, I was moved from West Roxburg to Jamaica plan where upon I was drugged four or five times in every respect. If I.
[00:08:25] Speaker B: You were drugged, my son. It was all part of my plan.
That's part of my plan, believe it or not.
Do you hear me, my son?
[00:08:40] Speaker C: Yes, sir. Believe it or not, I've been hospitalized close to 15 times and his so called son has never been near a hospital.
Yes, and then he claims that I'm violent.
[00:08:53] Speaker B: Jerome, do you mind if I get rid of you right now?
You're getting to be boring.
[00:09:13] Speaker D: Lou Ennis of Chicago, Illinois is telling us about his red itchy skin problem. I'm allergic to my watch.
[00:09:20] Speaker C: He caused my arm play the dum.
[00:09:22] Speaker B: Dum dum dum dum birthday game.
[00:09:29] Speaker E: You don't need skill. You don't have to be a brain. You just call Norm to play the dumb birthday game.
[00:09:36] Speaker C: Play the dumb dumb birthday game.
[00:09:43] Speaker B: Okay, it is time for the dumb birthday game.
And this is where we mention people who are born during this coming week, today and during the coming week.
And the members of our wonderful panel simply have to tell you just how old these people are on these dates. Isn't that a wonderful concept for a game? Well, it certainly is an award winner. Let's see who's playing the game with us today. Jay is in Burlington. Hi, Jay. Hi, Norm. Hey, nice to have you with us.
[00:10:12] Speaker C: Thanks. Good to be back.
[00:10:13] Speaker B: Oh, and we'll talk with Rose, who's out in Wellesley. Hi, Rose.
[00:10:17] Speaker F: Oh, hi, Norm. How are you?
[00:10:18] Speaker B: You're the mother of that other lady.
[00:10:20] Speaker F: Yes, I am.
[00:10:21] Speaker B: Well, I'm. Nice to have you with us. I appreciate you playing the game. You're okay, Rose, we have Kim with us who's in Needham. Hi, Kim.
[00:10:29] Speaker C: Hi, Norm.
[00:10:29] Speaker F: How are you?
[00:10:30] Speaker B: Hey, I'm just fine. How are you this morning?
[00:10:32] Speaker F: Good.
[00:10:33] Speaker B: Hey, you sound good. You just kind of. Just kind of. Your voice is just taking on a glorious sound.
[00:10:39] Speaker F: Well, I'm a night person, so I'm at my best right now.
[00:10:41] Speaker B: Oh, great. We have Fran with us too. The little adorable person from Rhode Island.
We meet again.
And I worked this out carefully so that we would meet again. I want you to know it was not an accident.
[00:10:56] Speaker F: Oh, I'm flattered.
[00:10:58] Speaker B: Okay, we Have a lot of three out of four women so far.
But then again, we have one man and we have two guys coming up like Tony from the WBEZ production staff.
I don't know why you look like.
[00:11:13] Speaker D: You were reading that.
[00:11:13] Speaker B: I was. I'm reading that. Right.
Tony Nesbitt from the WBZ production staff.
Anyway, how you doing, Tony? I'm doing okay. How are you? I don't know. I'm asking you now. We've been working together for a while. For an hour.
That's right, for an hour. So I know we have Jack Hardis from the WBZ traffic reporter staff.
[00:11:35] Speaker D: Howdy.
[00:11:36] Speaker B: Howdy.
Well, howdy to you, big fella.
You sound like as much like a Texan as George Bush. For God's sake.
Imagine you got your little boots on, you got your guitar and get your little cowboy hat.
[00:11:50] Speaker D: Absolutely.
[00:11:51] Speaker B: Well, you must look like a real jerk.
What kind of an outfit is that for a guy from Boston?
[00:11:59] Speaker D: Well, you know, the worst part of.
[00:12:00] Speaker B: It is, is that I tried to go metric and I'm actually wearing a 15 liter hat.
Oh, you know what? Oh, you're doing shtick for us. That's really swell. That would do Robert from ever just so proud.
[00:12:14] Speaker D: Robert couldn't come up with something as swift as that.
[00:12:16] Speaker B: No, he couldn't come up with much of anything.
In fact, if you.
If you fed him a big Hungarian dinner, couldn't even come up with a belch.
It's an old joke Fred Allen said about Jack Benny once.
Okay, I'll give you just a couple of people who are born on this date today being September 12th. And then we'll pick out some other dates during the week. Because during the week a lot of fascinating people born today on September 12 is the birthday of a fine vocalist, Maria Muldauer.
Maria Muldaur did Midnight at the Oasis. Midnight at the Oasis. Exactly right. That is exactly right.
[00:12:58] Speaker D: Thank you. Can you sing a little bit, Jack? Midnight at the Oasis. Oh, yeah.
[00:13:03] Speaker C: Okay, that's it. Yeah.
[00:13:07] Speaker B: Hey, I hear a little baby's voice.
Just to get some gold bond for that little baby.
Jack, why don't we start with you this time. You tell me how old you think. Maria Muldaur, since you did such a great impression of her. Wondrous.
[00:13:22] Speaker C: With a cold.
[00:13:23] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:13:23] Speaker D: Maria Muldow with a cold.
[00:13:25] Speaker C: Midnight at the.
[00:13:26] Speaker D: Oh, I'd say. Oh sure. She must be moving along. She.
47.
[00:13:36] Speaker B: I love 14 year olds. I love what you did with the voice. That was really okay, Tony, what do you think?
[00:13:48] Speaker D: Moving right along. 48.
[00:13:51] Speaker B: Moving right along. 48. Okay. And adorable friend.
[00:13:57] Speaker F: I say she's 46.
[00:13:59] Speaker B: 46. Okay. And what do you think, Kim?
[00:14:02] Speaker F: 49.
[00:14:03] Speaker B: 49. And Rose?
[00:14:06] Speaker F: 48.
[00:14:07] Speaker B: What do you think, Jay?
[00:14:09] Speaker C: I say 45.
[00:14:11] Speaker B: 45. Okay. We're gonna check the actual age of Maria Muldauer.
[00:14:16] Speaker D: She.
[00:14:17] Speaker B: Let's see where she was born.
I know you don't really care where she was born. Absolutely right.
[00:14:23] Speaker D: In a hospital. Yeah.
What sign was she born under? A tiny.
[00:14:28] Speaker B: Oh, see, because. Because I was going to say. We're going to check. So I can check the birth records.
[00:14:34] Speaker D: You better find them quick before these jokes. Really?
[00:14:36] Speaker B: Yeah, they're really getting bad.
[00:14:38] Speaker C: Darling, for you.
[00:14:39] Speaker B: New York.
Even if she weren't born, I'd say that she said she's from New York. New York.
[00:14:47] Speaker D: The city's so nice they named it twice.
[00:14:49] Speaker B: That's right. This Bronx is up and the subway is down and the subway is a hole in the ground.
And I don't think that's the way that song goes.
Oh. How old is she? What are we trying to jump the gun on this?
We digress a whole lot. Maria Muldauer actually is 49 years old. Kim. Kim said 49. Wow. So you win that first round, Kim.
Are you excited about that?
[00:15:18] Speaker F: Oh, wicked.
[00:15:19] Speaker B: Want us to hold on while you call your friends and tell them?
Okay. How about another man? Another. There's another singer born on this date on September 12th is Barry White, the romantic.
Way down.
[00:15:34] Speaker C: And see.
[00:15:36] Speaker D: I'm trying to remember what exactly he's saying.
[00:15:38] Speaker B: What did he say? What there is.
As long as you come on with a voice like that. What did there.
If I made you cry, if I made you sigh.
He didn't do that one. That's not his song at all.
[00:15:55] Speaker D: But she's too fat for me.
[00:15:59] Speaker B: I am too sexy for my voice.
Okay, Jay, how old is Barry White today?
[00:16:06] Speaker C: The big five. Zero.
[00:16:08] Speaker B: A big five zero says the big J and Rose. What do you say?
[00:16:13] Speaker F: I don't even know who he is. I'm gonna say.
[00:16:16] Speaker B: You're gonna say 50 also, right?
[00:16:18] Speaker D: It runs in the family.
[00:16:19] Speaker B: You hear that? Oh, because he didn't. You didn't know who he was. You don't know who he is either.
[00:16:23] Speaker D: So we can't blame Debbie anymore. It's hereditary.
[00:16:26] Speaker B: That's right.
It's all in the jeans.
[00:16:29] Speaker C: Too much gold box.
[00:16:30] Speaker B: It's all in the. I don't know. Jeans.
[00:16:33] Speaker D: Okay, Kim, like guest jeans. Yeah.
[00:16:37] Speaker B: What do you think, Kim?
[00:16:39] Speaker F: 55.
[00:16:41] Speaker B: 55 says Kim and that's. And Fran says.
[00:16:45] Speaker F: I think He's a little younger. I'm gonna say he's 43.
[00:16:49] Speaker B: 43, okay. And the big Tony, what do you think?
[00:16:54] Speaker D: I'll say the even bigger five one.
[00:16:56] Speaker B: A big five one. And.
And Jack.
[00:16:59] Speaker D: I'll say he's 52.
[00:17:02] Speaker B: 52.
[00:17:04] Speaker D: Was that. Is Lavelle there?
We love you, Matt Lamb.
[00:17:10] Speaker B: Okay. Barry white is actually 48 years old. So let me see. I think we got Jay and rose votes at 50.
I would say they were the two or two winners. Yes, that is correct. And nobody else came as close?
[00:17:27] Speaker C: Rose. I didn't know who he was either.
[00:17:29] Speaker F: Oh, okay.
[00:17:30] Speaker D: Oh.
Any relation?
[00:17:33] Speaker B: You guys feel better?
[00:17:35] Speaker C: Not that I know of.
[00:17:37] Speaker B: You guys feeling a little sweet on each other or what do you think, Huh? I guess not. Well, we'll move along.
That's. That's what happened when I try to match up people together.
[00:17:49] Speaker C: My wife would be happy.
[00:17:51] Speaker F: My husband would need us.
[00:17:52] Speaker B: Well, that's great. I say any. Any matchup that can.
Can make a husband and a wife both feel unhappy. Can't be too bad. Is a match made in heaven.
[00:18:02] Speaker D: That's right. You can destroy a couple of marriages by making a match. What's wrong with it?
[00:18:05] Speaker B: I see nothing wrong with that.
Okay, we'll go now. We're going to skip along to Tuesday.
Don't get any ideas because I use the term skip along. You understand? I have to be very macho.
[00:18:20] Speaker D: I just threw the stone. It landed on six. Hold on.
[00:18:23] Speaker B: Okay. Norm Crosby.
Norm Crosby, who's from this area and who does. The comedian? Yeah, he does. Kind of the strange speech.
[00:18:33] Speaker D: He's very pedantic at it.
[00:18:34] Speaker F: The fractured Englishman.
[00:18:36] Speaker B: Yes, that's right. Fractured English is absolutely correct.
Who said that? Was that you, Rose?
[00:18:42] Speaker F: No.
[00:18:44] Speaker B: It was, Fran.
[00:18:45] Speaker F: It was. I said the little redhead.
[00:18:50] Speaker B: Why the sky is falling? Because I'm too sexy for my.
I don't know.
Think of a last word. I'm too sexy. I was going to say from.
[00:19:00] Speaker C: From.
[00:19:01] Speaker B: From my what?
[00:19:01] Speaker F: Calling?
[00:19:03] Speaker B: I was gonna say I'm too sexy for my clouds, but that makes no sense at all.
How about. Let you take the first shot at that?
[00:19:12] Speaker D: We should have went for a rhyme.
[00:19:14] Speaker B: Norm Crosby. How old do you think he is, Fran?
[00:19:17] Speaker F: Oh, I think he's up there now. Please don't be.
[00:19:22] Speaker B: Could you. I'm sorry. Could you get a little closer to the phone and speak up just a little bit?
[00:19:27] Speaker F: Okay, good. How is this better?
Maybe I should switch phones. I'm on a.
[00:19:33] Speaker B: You're on a different phone because last time you came in very clear and Very loud and pretty nice.
[00:19:39] Speaker F: Okay, perhaps I was projecting better.
[00:19:43] Speaker C: Then speak into the other round.
[00:19:46] Speaker B: I tell you the truth, friend, so far as I'm concerned, you project great. Always.
[00:19:50] Speaker F: Oh, no, I'm.
[00:19:51] Speaker B: Yeah, and I'm getting. I'm getting goosebumply over your projection.
[00:19:55] Speaker D: Okay, well, she gives good projection.
[00:19:59] Speaker B: Oh, man.
Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Non presbyteries. How old?
[00:20:04] Speaker F: He's 50.
[00:20:05] Speaker D: 59.
[00:20:06] Speaker B: 59. Okay.
And let's check in with you, Rose. What do you think? How old is Norm Crosby? How old will he be on Tuesday the 15th?
[00:20:15] Speaker F: I'll say 54.
[00:20:17] Speaker B: 54, okay. And Jack, 62. 62.
Jay, six zero six zero. And Tony, 61.
Six one. And Kim, 63.
Okay, 63.
And the actual age of Norm Crosby is 65.
He'll be 65 on Tuesday.
And that means that Kim, who said 63. Is the closest.
Yeah. Is the closest.
Yes, sir, she is the Coast Post. Jackie Cooper also has a birthday on Tuesday the 15th.
[00:21:03] Speaker D: Just count the wrinkles.
[00:21:05] Speaker B: He looks. Yeah, he's had a lot of wrinkles, I think ever since he was about 12.
[00:21:11] Speaker D: He was born a Sharpay.
[00:21:13] Speaker B: Yeah, look at that wrinkled little kid there. 12. Little kid is. Look at the wrinkles.
And of course, he's been in movies for years as Skippy. With Skippy when he was a little kid.
[00:21:26] Speaker D: Speaking of skipping. Right. Yeah, Skippy, Skippy, Skippy. Right along the. Jackie Cooper.
[00:21:31] Speaker B: Okay, we'll start. Let's start with you, Jay. How old would you say Jackie Cooper is or will be on Tuesday?
[00:21:37] Speaker C: On Tuesday, I say 76.
[00:21:39] Speaker B: 76.
[00:21:40] Speaker D: That's the spirit.
[00:21:42] Speaker B: Very good. I thought we were gonna miss that.
[00:21:44] Speaker D: Oh, not at all.
[00:21:45] Speaker B: But I should have guessed we wouldn't. Any trite, cliche written remark we don't miss.
Okay, Rose, what do you say?
[00:21:54] Speaker F: I'll say 71.
[00:21:56] Speaker B: 71, okay.
[00:21:59] Speaker D: That's not the spirit.
[00:22:01] Speaker B: No, that's a twist.
Okay, Kim, what do you think?
[00:22:08] Speaker F: 77.
[00:22:10] Speaker D: That's the Strip.
You had to bring up trite, cliche remarks. So we got them. We're loaded.
We should be. We got a pocket full of trite.
[00:22:24] Speaker B: Cliche remarks from our tripe cliche WBZ shop, which is on the 73rd floor. A broadcast city right here.
[00:22:32] Speaker D: Never mind.
[00:22:33] Speaker B: That's where our staff goes in and get their scripts for their program.
[00:22:38] Speaker D: I don't sort of pick up some of our paychecks.
[00:22:40] Speaker B: However, the raid did not dampen the spirits of the folks who attended the parade.
Fred, what do you say? How old will Jackie Cooper be?
[00:22:51] Speaker F: Well, he's in his 70s.
[00:22:54] Speaker B: In his 70s.
[00:22:57] Speaker F: I'll take 74.
[00:22:58] Speaker B: 74, okay.
Okay, let's barrel along. See, Cooper Barrel.
I don't want to leave out that really stupid remark.
[00:23:08] Speaker D: Boy, is that joke got staving power.
[00:23:10] Speaker B: Yeah, staving power. Yeah.
Tony. What do you say, Jackie Cooper?
[00:23:20] Speaker D: I'll take a polka at 70.
I was waiting for something.
[00:23:26] Speaker B: That's a stretch on beer. Barrel poker. Yeah, that's a little bit out of the way.
[00:23:30] Speaker D: Well, I'll take a poke at poker.
Say, here I go explaining things again.
[00:23:37] Speaker B: What does that got to do with Cooper Barrel poker.
Barrel poker.
[00:23:43] Speaker D: It had nothing to do. It had something to do with barrel, not Cooper.
[00:23:48] Speaker B: But you said, let's take a. Well, forget it.
What am I trying to make sense? No, I'll take a poke.
[00:23:53] Speaker D: And then I was going to give you an age, but I, I really. For a response, and I'm very sorry I did that.
77.
[00:24:02] Speaker B: 77.
[00:24:03] Speaker C: That's the strip.
[00:24:04] Speaker D: Thank you, Jim. You're welcome.
[00:24:07] Speaker B: And what do you think, Jack?
[00:24:08] Speaker D: Oh, I'd say that Little Rascal was 70.
Sorry.
[00:24:13] Speaker B: Yeah. He wasn't one of the Little Rascals, by the way.
No, wasn't he.
[00:24:20] Speaker D: He used to turn up.
[00:24:20] Speaker B: No, he wasn't. He wasn't on that show at all, though.
The Our gang comedies you're talking about. Oh, yeah, no, Jackie Cooper was not part of that. Never, never on. Never was part of that. Never was part of that.
[00:24:32] Speaker F: Is that the same thing as the dead end kid?
[00:24:35] Speaker B: No, no, no, that's a whole different group.
No, he was not just like that.
[00:24:40] Speaker C: Only.
[00:24:40] Speaker B: No, no, he was, he was on his own. He played the part of Skippy as a little kid and that was a wild actor. But he was not on any series.
[00:24:48] Speaker D: Like, he was always Skippy. No matter what series. He was always.
[00:24:52] Speaker B: Until this day, he's known as Skippy.
And therein lies a tale.
Discuss right after this. Or a peanut butter Skippy and all those people who wrote it and say, don't ever have Jay from Burlington on the show. His sense of humor will make you nauseous. I hope you realize the error of your ways, guys.
But in a way, they have a point there, Jay, so watch it. Okay. Jackie Cooper is 70 or will be 70 years old. And that's what Jack Hart said. 70. Guess they're right on the blanket.
[00:25:30] Speaker D: He's a youngster.
[00:25:32] Speaker B: Yeah, he's a young 70.
Ah, there are all kinds of 70s, you know, the old 70s or young 70s. It depends on how you go through Life. And that's what we're going to talk about on our drama, which will begin right after these words.
Why don't I shut up?
Okay. Wednesday the 16th is the birthday of.
I really. I really hate to buy the.
That's my imitation of Peter Falk, in case you missed it.
[00:26:03] Speaker D: I don't know.
You could have gave me a list of names. His name could have been on it, and I would have never guessed it.
[00:26:12] Speaker B: How you bite my hand even though I feed you.
[00:26:16] Speaker D: Let me hear it again.
[00:26:16] Speaker B: Maybe you. You kick me in the toe. Although I wash your feet.
[00:26:23] Speaker D: Peter, wait a minute.
You got very long arms. If I'm kicking you in the toe and you're washing my feet, all of a sudden. Same time.
[00:26:31] Speaker B: I happen to be a very kind person.
[00:26:33] Speaker D: That's right. With long arms. Yeah.
[00:26:35] Speaker B: Okay.
Anyway, let's. We better get out of this because I real. I really hate the barn here.
Okay, Peter Falk. Anyway, let's start with you, Fran. What do you think?
[00:26:49] Speaker F: Okay.
Peter Falk is 61.
[00:26:54] Speaker B: Peter Falk. Peter Falk is 51.
Oh, you said 61.
[00:27:00] Speaker D: He's so wrapped up in his imitation.
[00:27:04] Speaker B: I don't even care how old he is as long as I get a chance to imitate it a few more times.
Okay, let's. Let's go to you, Kim. What do you think?
[00:27:13] Speaker F: 59.
[00:27:14] Speaker B: 59.
And Jack?
[00:27:17] Speaker D: 64.
[00:27:18] Speaker B: 64.
And J.
[00:27:22] Speaker C: 63.
[00:27:24] Speaker B: And what do you think, Tony?
[00:27:26] Speaker D: Well, I've been keeping my eye out for him.
[00:27:31] Speaker B: 65.
[00:27:32] Speaker D: Grown.
[00:27:32] Speaker B: 65.
Okay.
[00:27:35] Speaker F: Don't you have a groan noise that you can put in me and Tony?
[00:27:40] Speaker B: There it is.
We do all our imitations live.
Instead of having a record, we just go.
And that's much better than anything you could put on Dish.
Rose, what do you think? How old will Peter Falk be?
[00:27:56] Speaker F: I'll say 56.
[00:27:57] Speaker B: 50. You'll say 56, right.
[00:28:00] Speaker D: Okay, 56. His trench coat's older than that, isn't it?
[00:28:04] Speaker B: He's got a stain on his trench coat that's even older than that.
Okay, the actual age of Peter Falk is. Will be 65, which is what you said, Tony.
[00:28:17] Speaker D: I get one.
[00:28:18] Speaker B: Okay, let me. Let me run through the score so far because Jack's so disappointed.
Let's see. The.
Kim has a couple of correct answers, so leads the pack.
[00:28:29] Speaker D: No, she tied with Jack.
[00:28:32] Speaker B: No, Jack only has one correct answer.
That was Jackie Cooper when he said 70.
No, Kim has two on the rest.
J and Rose and Tony and Jack all have one apiece.
However, Fran has the cutest voice of all.
[00:28:52] Speaker F: You know. I will say this, though, Norm.
When I play this along with the players, and I'm not actually on, I always win.
[00:29:07] Speaker D: A likely story.
[00:29:08] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:29:09] Speaker D: You mean when you play the home game?
[00:29:11] Speaker F: Exactly.
[00:29:12] Speaker B: Yeah, I know, but the pressure's on now. This is tense. Be a tense moment now when you're in actual competition. It's so different than when you're just practicing. But when you're right in there in the fire and the fire is held to your feet, it's a whole different thing, isn't it? Eh?
[00:29:27] Speaker F: You're into beat tonight, aren't you?
[00:29:29] Speaker B: Oh, I'm Toes.
That's because he's a heel.
[00:29:35] Speaker C: Oh, God.
[00:29:37] Speaker B: Okay. Also born on Wednesday the 16th was Lauren Bacall.
And of course, the former Mrs. Humphrey Bogart. And also she was married to Jason Robarts, who sort of looks a little like him, I guess. Maybe he doesn't look a lot like him. Is that what you're telling her? I think so, yeah. How about Bogart or Lauren Bacall?
[00:30:03] Speaker D: They made. I think they have the same foreheads.
[00:30:08] Speaker B: I suppose.
[00:30:08] Speaker D: I think that's what it is. I agree.
[00:30:10] Speaker B: I think. I think that's a terribly amusing comment.
[00:30:14] Speaker D: No, I think. I think you're right. There's where you have your. Where you can. Thought they both looked similar. I think they have the same foreheads, yes.
[00:30:22] Speaker B: Oh, I see.
[00:30:22] Speaker D: Yeah. I'm trying to help you, Norman. I guess I'm not.
[00:30:26] Speaker B: I know. I thought you. No, I just naturally figure that you're going to try to be my enemy.
I just start with that assumption and work from that point.
Okay, Lauren Bacall, let's start with you, Jack.
How old do you think Lauren Bacall.
[00:30:40] Speaker D: Is this very day?
[00:30:42] Speaker B: Well, I'd say not this very day, but on Wednesday the 16th.
[00:30:46] Speaker D: I see.
[00:30:46] Speaker B: Which is actually her birthday.
[00:30:48] Speaker C: Aha.
[00:30:50] Speaker D: Did you have a joke before about calling? No, not Jack.
[00:30:54] Speaker C: Sorry.
[00:30:54] Speaker D: Oh, did I? Yeah. Didn't you say something and call.
[00:31:00] Speaker B: Pick up the phone and make up a call?
[00:31:01] Speaker D: Yeah, I think that was it. I see. I shouldn't have brought it up again. I'm sorry. Thank you.
[00:31:07] Speaker B: Excuse me. I didn't hear any of that. I was. I had to go to the bathroom.
[00:31:14] Speaker D: You had to make a call, huh? Yeah. Called one up A call. Yeah.
I was lucky with it before also. 70.
[00:31:23] Speaker B: 70 says Jack. Okay.
[00:31:26] Speaker D: Wait a second. I gotta say, I gotta add in the Little Rascal.
[00:31:30] Speaker B: The Little Rascal?
[00:31:31] Speaker D: Yeah. Well, that. I know I was wrong before, but at least I was lucky with him.
[00:31:36] Speaker B: Okay. Oh, okay, okay. Jack, shut up. Okay.
Do us that much of a favor. Would you give us old guys a break by shutting your mouth?
[00:31:46] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:31:49] Speaker B: Tony, what do you think?
Oh, there goes my dark side.
Wow. Oh, geez. I'm sorry.
She's alarm a call, huh?
Hey, wait a minute. Let me check.
Yeah, that's what we're talking about. Yeah. Lauren Bacall on Wednesday.
On Wednesday the 16th.
[00:32:11] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:32:11] Speaker D: It's hard to believe that she. She could be 70.
[00:32:15] Speaker B: So you're gonna say the same as.
[00:32:17] Speaker D: No, no, I'm saying it's hard to believe that she could be.
[00:32:19] Speaker B: Oh, I see.
[00:32:20] Speaker D: Which means I'm probably gonna guess something different.
[00:32:23] Speaker B: I see.
[00:32:24] Speaker D: Yeah. What that different is, I don't know at the moment. Could you come back?
[00:32:28] Speaker B: Yes, we'll. We'll find out the difference right after this word from your local sponsor.
[00:32:34] Speaker D: Yeah, we'll be calling you later.
[00:32:35] Speaker B: That's right. We're going to let these stations along the line now come in and identify the position themselves.
But when we're on, they don't seem to want to. I don't understand that.
[00:32:49] Speaker D: 71.
[00:32:50] Speaker B: 71.
[00:32:52] Speaker D: Yeah. I can't believe she's 70. I believe she's 71, though.
[00:32:55] Speaker B: I see. Okay, sure.
Incidentally, the stations along the line just identified themselves and again had a whole root. That was hilarious. But I think ahead.
[00:33:08] Speaker D: Come on, let's air it.
[00:33:09] Speaker B: Well, I was going to say for something pretty stupid like what else is new? Yeah, we have some swell stations like WGN in Chicago is not on. On our line.
And I was going to go on like that.
That pitiful. That's the whole bit.
Friend.
[00:33:32] Speaker F: Hello.
[00:33:33] Speaker B: Hello.
[00:33:34] Speaker F: Hello, friend here.
[00:33:36] Speaker B: I know it. I've been getting it. Funny.
[00:33:38] Speaker D: No, that's the show, friend.
[00:33:39] Speaker F: I know how old she is.
[00:33:41] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:33:42] Speaker F: Okay, so I won't keep you in suspense.
Lauren B. Also known as Betty.
[00:33:48] Speaker B: Betty. That. And this is her. This is not how old she is today, but her birthday next Wednesday.
[00:33:53] Speaker F: Okay, well, this is how old she will be.
[00:33:55] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:33:56] Speaker F: 64.
Will you still need me? Will you still feed me when I.
[00:34:02] Speaker D: 64.
[00:34:06] Speaker B: Okay, 64, you say. Hey. And Kim, what do you say?
72. 72. Okay. And Rose, I'm gonna say 72 also. 72 also. And J.
[00:34:19] Speaker C: 65.
[00:34:20] Speaker B: 65.
Okay, now we come to that magic moment when we check the actual age of Lauren Bacall, which on Wednesday the 16th will be 68.
[00:34:32] Speaker D: See, I wasn't gonna say 71. I was gonna say 69.
[00:34:36] Speaker B: But cryono. I'm sorry. Well, I think Jack. Jack said 70 yeah. So he was two years off, that little rascal.
And he was the only winner on that. He was the closest. The little rascal. That little devil. That little guy standing there in his coveralls, just looking so cute.
[00:34:53] Speaker D: And his alfalfa.
[00:34:55] Speaker B: That's right. With the marshmallows smeared across his face.
The little chocolate chip cookies he just took from the cookie. Jack. Just coming out the corners of his mouth. Boy, you are really ugly, Jack.
You're making me sick to my stomach. Get out of here.
Okay. Anyway, that's the only. That'll be the only winner on that. So that means that Jack and Ken are now tied.
[00:35:19] Speaker D: Oh, lucky you, Jack.
[00:35:24] Speaker B: You're both tied together.
We'll untie you whenever.
Well, never mind.
B.B. king also has a birthday on Wednesday the 16th. B.B. king, great blue singer with his guitar, Lucille. And anybody who says he's got his guitar. Lucille's older than that gets disqualified to the game immediately.
We'll start with. Let's see. Let's start with Kim. Okay.
[00:35:58] Speaker F: 66.
[00:36:00] Speaker B: 66.
And Jay.
[00:36:02] Speaker D: That's the root.
[00:36:03] Speaker G: 67.
[00:36:05] Speaker B: 67.
And let's see if Fran.
[00:36:10] Speaker F: Well, I don't want to say anybody else. I'll say down 65.
[00:36:15] Speaker B: 65. Why not, Fran?
[00:36:17] Speaker F: Why not?
[00:36:17] Speaker B: Yeah, okay.
[00:36:19] Speaker D: Why not? Why not?
[00:36:20] Speaker F: Agree with, say, why not? The best.
[00:36:24] Speaker B: Fran.
[00:36:27] Speaker F: She was president a few years ago. Never mind.
[00:36:31] Speaker B: You keep that up and you will be consigned to walk across the lonely streets of Woonsocket for the rest of your life.
[00:36:40] Speaker F: I can't talk. Woonsocket. I wouldn't make it.
[00:36:44] Speaker B: Okay. Where in Rhode island are you anyway?
[00:36:47] Speaker F: In Warwick.
[00:36:48] Speaker B: Warwick, Rhode Island. Okay. Rose, how old is B.B. king?
[00:36:52] Speaker F: I'll say 68.
[00:36:54] Speaker B: 68.
And Tony.
[00:36:57] Speaker D: B.B. king, the guitarist's so nice they named him twice.
See how we use an economy of J jokes? Yeah.
[00:37:06] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, good. Use the same.
[00:37:08] Speaker D: A little bit better than the one we have in this country right now.
Who we talk? Oh, yeah. B.B.
[00:37:14] Speaker C: King.
[00:37:14] Speaker B: B.B. king. He's.
[00:37:16] Speaker D: Oh, he's pushing 60.
Yeah, he's 67 now.
[00:37:22] Speaker B: 67 now.
[00:37:23] Speaker D: Well, he'll be 67 on. Whenever.
[00:37:25] Speaker B: On Wednesday. Wednesday the 16th.
[00:37:27] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:37:28] Speaker B: Okay. And Jack Hart. What do you say?
[00:37:30] Speaker D: Oh, 57.
[00:37:31] Speaker B: 57. Oh, my goodness.
He is an adventurer, isn't he, this Jack?
[00:37:37] Speaker D: He's a risk taker.
[00:37:38] Speaker B: He is a risk taker and I admire that. I admire that. Even though you fell. Fell out on your face this time, Jack, and you really made a silly fool of yourself.
I did. I admire you just the same because.
[00:37:50] Speaker D: You took A chance, yes.
[00:37:51] Speaker B: But boy, you look really stupid.
BBQ king actually will be 6, will be 67.
Tony said that.
[00:38:02] Speaker D: I certainly did with somebody else did too, didn't they?
[00:38:04] Speaker B: No. Yes. Yes. Jay said that. Yeah, Jay said that. So we have a four way. Four way tie. That's right.
[00:38:12] Speaker D: We're cruising for one of those nights again.
[00:38:14] Speaker B: That's right. Jay, Kim, Tony and Jack all have two apiece. So is that to say in 1972, he was only 47 in 1972?
[00:38:27] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:38:30] Speaker D: What does that mean?
[00:38:30] Speaker B: Well, 20 years ago he would have been. Yeah, he would have been 47.
[00:38:33] Speaker D: Well, there you go.
[00:38:34] Speaker B: Well, why did you say that?
Oh, I see. I thought you'd seen him in a club and he looked older than that in 19. But it had no relationship to anything. Nothing to do with anything. That's right. Okay.
Okay. How about now on September 17, which would be Thursday of this coming week, John Ritter has a birthday.
The son of Tex Ritter, lucky hit. But nobody remembers Text Ritter too much. Except this old guy, he did a thing called Smoke, smoke, smoke that cigarette, which is a funny record of the 40s, matter of fact.
[00:39:11] Speaker D: What?
[00:39:12] Speaker B: That's Text Ritter, not John Ritter.
[00:39:13] Speaker D: Listen to that sound. What was that sound? Yeah, what were you doing? I was just wiping out my teacup.
Did you have it right up to the microphone? Well, no, it was.
[00:39:23] Speaker B: He was wiping it out with the microphone. That's how he wipes it out.
Puts a cloth over the microphone, wipes out.
He has no more inkling of what radio broadcasting is today than when he started.
In fact, if the truth will be known, this guy's never even seen an automobile.
[00:39:45] Speaker D: And tell him I'm looking at what he drives.
[00:39:49] Speaker B: He's in an office thing. No windows there.
[00:39:53] Speaker D: Nope.
[00:39:53] Speaker B: And we sit there. Yeah. And they showed him pictures once. A little sketch of what they thought all over they look like. And they said, now make up the rest.
[00:40:01] Speaker D: We're operating on. On magnets tied around bear claws and tiger skins.
[00:40:07] Speaker B: That's what it says.
[00:40:09] Speaker D: Somebody get in touch with the Humane Society.
[00:40:11] Speaker B: Yeah, okay. We're. Anyway, we're discussing the age of John Ritter, sort of. And Next Thursday, the 17th, is his birthday. We're gonna start with. Let's see. Let's see who we start with this time. We'll start with you, Tony.
[00:40:27] Speaker D: I knew it. Every time you say that and you go through the list, I'm always the one you pick.
[00:40:31] Speaker B: Yeah, I don't think we started with you. No, you haven't yet.
[00:40:34] Speaker D: That also helped in my decision making. That you were gonna pick me? John Ritter.
[00:40:38] Speaker B: John Ritter.
[00:40:40] Speaker D: Stay tuned for this, folks.
That was his last movie.
[00:40:45] Speaker B: Nobody laughed about that.
[00:40:46] Speaker D: I know. No one laughed at the movie either.
[00:40:48] Speaker B: Hope that'll discourage you from any future attempts at humor.
[00:40:51] Speaker D: Stay tuned. Wasn't that. Yeah, that wasn't it.
[00:40:58] Speaker B: He's 45. 45.
[00:41:05] Speaker D: Yeah. And no one else better guess this.
Maybe. No, another person can guess 45, but we don't want three because, of course, three is company. Thank you very much.
[00:41:15] Speaker B: Okay, Kim will ask you how old is.
How old is. And can you figure out what Tony just said? How old would John Ritter be Next Thursday the 17th?
[00:41:27] Speaker F: 42.
[00:41:29] Speaker B: 42.
Okay. And Jay?
[00:41:35] Speaker C: 40.
[00:41:37] Speaker B: 40.
Okay.
[00:41:40] Speaker C: I was gonna say 39, but I.
[00:41:43] Speaker B: Didn'T want to hear it. I'm awfully glad. I didn't want to do it either.
You don't want to hear it. I don't want to do it. And that's.
[00:41:51] Speaker C: Oh, he's 40.
[00:41:52] Speaker B: And that's how jazz was born.
Okay. How about you, Fran? How old do you think John Ritter will be?
[00:41:59] Speaker F: Be 40.
[00:42:01] Speaker B: 40 also.
Okay. And Jack.
[00:42:05] Speaker D: Oh, when Father Tom comes and knocks on his door, he'll be 46.
[00:42:10] Speaker B: 46, okay.
[00:42:12] Speaker D: And Ro, I have to know. I'm curious. What did that have to do with anything?
[00:42:17] Speaker B: Come and knock on my door.
[00:42:18] Speaker D: You know, the start.
[00:42:21] Speaker C: Wow.
[00:42:22] Speaker D: Did you pull something stretching for that one?
I'll be limping for a week.
[00:42:29] Speaker B: Okay, hold on a minute. I'm putting my facts together here. Well, if.
[00:42:32] Speaker D: If you're going to be limping for a week, you probably use that Thigh Master. There we go.
Suzanne Summers, three's Company.
There was a connection there, Norm.
[00:42:42] Speaker B: Oh, I saw that. Yeah.
[00:42:43] Speaker D: Okay.
[00:42:43] Speaker B: Very good. Yeah, yeah.
[00:42:45] Speaker D: Once again, I just like explaining the jokes are the semi jokes.
[00:42:50] Speaker B: Okay. John Ritter actually will be 45. 44, rather. Hey, 44. That means that Rose and Tony, who both said 45, came to close. Way to go, Rose. Yeah.
[00:43:04] Speaker F: Hey. All right.
[00:43:06] Speaker B: All right.
That means you have. You have two correct answers, Rose.
[00:43:10] Speaker F: That's right. That's the best I've ever done.
[00:43:12] Speaker B: No, that's good. And you tie with the J and Kim and Jack, all of whom have two apiece.
The only problem is Tony now just has won his third.
[00:43:23] Speaker D: And what does. Has Fran won anything yet? Has she still.
[00:43:26] Speaker B: Fran has won my heart.
[00:43:28] Speaker D: Okay.
[00:43:30] Speaker B: That's right.
There's congeniality. That's right.
And I know that you want to be a nurse and go down to Florida to help the folks there, and that's why we're putting the crown on your head.
[00:43:45] Speaker D: About what things have to do with anything.
[00:43:47] Speaker B: I don't think that had less to do with anything than anything I've ever thought of in the past. I'm going to give you.
[00:43:54] Speaker D: What we can do, is we can say this has been an existential show.
[00:43:56] Speaker B: You see, we're going to do just one more, okay. Because we have a little bit of time, and you're all such a wonderful.
[00:44:02] Speaker D: Group of people, and we just like to torture them.
[00:44:05] Speaker B: That's right. This is also the listening audience. This is somebody born. Also born on Thursday the 17th will be the birthday of Ann Bancroft, or Bancroft, the wife of Mel Brooks and a very, very attractive lady. I think she's very, very appealing, and I might write her an obscene note as soon as I get off the air this morning. Now that I think of that.
She loves my obscene notes, although I don't sign them, so she's not sure who they're from. From. And why don't I shut up?
I get in the middle of a sentence sometimes. I don't even know what I'm. What I'm saying.
[00:44:45] Speaker D: You start looking for directions.
[00:44:46] Speaker B: Yes, I do. Okay, Ann Bancroft. Let's see how old. How old you think she will be next Thursday.
And we'll start with. To start the bidding with J.
[00:44:56] Speaker C: 58.
[00:44:57] Speaker B: 58.
Okay. And Rose?
[00:45:00] Speaker F: 57.
[00:45:01] Speaker C: 57.
[00:45:02] Speaker B: 7.
And Kim?
[00:45:06] Speaker F: 59.
[00:45:08] Speaker B: 59.
And what do you think, Fran?
[00:45:12] Speaker F: 63.
[00:45:14] Speaker B: 63. 63. Tony?
[00:45:17] Speaker D: 61.
[00:45:19] Speaker B: 61.
And the Jack?
[00:45:22] Speaker D: 67.
[00:45:23] Speaker B: 67. Okay.
The actual age of Ann Bancroft.
That's coming Thursday.
That's the way John McLaughlin called. McLaughlin. He says Thursday.
That was an exact imitation of him. That was really good.
[00:45:44] Speaker D: I thought it was Peter Falk.
[00:45:49] Speaker B: I really hate to buy the. But it was not.
[00:45:52] Speaker D: The more you do it, the more I. I can hear it somewhere in there. It's a little pedophile. Okay, Just hold him in the palm of your hand.
[00:46:01] Speaker B: He's so tiny.
[00:46:04] Speaker C: Oh.
[00:46:05] Speaker B: Next Thursday.
And Bancroft will be 61, which is exactly what Tony.
61. That means Tony has. On the C3.
Has five correct answers.
[00:46:21] Speaker C: Four.
[00:46:22] Speaker B: No, you have five.
[00:46:23] Speaker C: Four.
[00:46:24] Speaker B: No, he did. He did. John Ritter.
[00:46:27] Speaker D: Yeah, that made four.
[00:46:28] Speaker B: And B.B. king. You said you got it right on the butt.
[00:46:30] Speaker C: Peter and Peter Falk.
[00:46:32] Speaker B: Peter Falk.
[00:46:32] Speaker C: That's four.
[00:46:33] Speaker B: Norm and Norm Crosby.
Wait a minute. Yes, it is. He said 64. Wait a minute. Wait, wait. No, no, I'm sorry. You're absolutely right. That was Kim, who's at 63. She was the closest on that one.
[00:46:47] Speaker C: We all like Tony, but, you know.
[00:46:49] Speaker B: Yeah, no, you're absolutely right. I don't know how to put it.
[00:46:51] Speaker D: I wasn't fighting it.
[00:46:52] Speaker B: I said I put a mark there against that date. I. I can't figure out what I did wrong. Oh, oh, oh. Anyway. Okay.
Tony has four correct answers.
[00:47:03] Speaker D: I'd like to give one to Fran.
[00:47:05] Speaker F: Oh, Tony, this is so generous.
[00:47:07] Speaker D: Thank you.
Thank you. It's okay.
[00:47:11] Speaker F: I will say this, though.
I would like to know if the other contestants are actually keeping score.
[00:47:18] Speaker B: Yes, they seem to be keeping score. Yes.
[00:47:20] Speaker F: I want you to know I trust you implicitly and I have not been keeping score.
[00:47:25] Speaker B: No. See, But. But the. The error on my part about Tony having 5 instead of 4 wouldn't have mattered anyway because he sort of walked away. He sort of won the game anyway. But.
But it wouldn't. It would be good for the record books when we look back and a lot of. A lot of historians check through our records and base future stories upon what our figures.
Hello? Anybody?
[00:47:52] Speaker D: Just that, now that you mentioned historians, I brought up a thought.
Brought up a thought. I'm going to bring up a thought right now. Just thinking about it.
[00:48:00] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:48:00] Speaker D: That if we or someone at some point in time ever put a dumb birthday game cassette in a time capsule and 50 years from now they opened it up and listened to it, what would they think?
[00:48:11] Speaker B: Doesn't matter, because I don't know about the rest of you, but I think I would probably be dead.
They can think anything they want to think.
[00:48:19] Speaker D: All right, 15, 20 years from now, we'll probably be still doing the show.
[00:48:25] Speaker B: I certainly hope so.
I seem to have made the latest cut.
See if we can. We can remain on a little bit longer.
[00:48:34] Speaker D: I'd be working part time, you know, I think minimum wage.
[00:48:40] Speaker B: Oh, that would never happen to you.
[00:48:42] Speaker D: No, no, no, not at this lush.
[00:48:46] Speaker B: Okay, let me. Not the high pay, glamour feel of broadcasting, for heaven's sake.
[00:48:50] Speaker D: Especially at Westinghouse.
[00:48:52] Speaker B: Oh, Westinghouse.
Sometimes I wonder how they stay in business with the lavish salary they take.
This microphone costs more than my salary for the past three years.
Okay, here's. I think we're starting to dig ourselves into a very bad trench.
You know, they laugh and think we're cute up to a point.
One day we're going to cross that point and we're all gone.
Okay.
[00:49:20] Speaker C: Jack didn't say anything.
[00:49:21] Speaker B: No, he didn't. Oh, no, he's very wise and also extremely cowardly.
[00:49:27] Speaker D: I like my job. Yes.
We didn't say we didn't like our jobs.
[00:49:33] Speaker B: No, God knows we love it. We love it. We love it.
Well, you know what we'd be doing if we weren't working here?
We'd be out in the street selling drugs.
[00:49:43] Speaker D: We'd be working for Metro, probably.
I just love sitting on these cold concrete blocks for seven and eight hours at a stretch.
Makes my bum feel so good.
[00:49:56] Speaker B: Let's. Let's check the score. Now. We have Tony, who decided that upon a revision is get four correct answers.
And we have two correct answers for Jack.
Kim.
Rose, I'm so bored with this.
And Jay and Fran. I know this wasn't your day, but you made our day.
And therefore, that's how jazz was born.
I know this program gets the stupidest.
[00:50:37] Speaker D: I think we've hit one of those concrete blocks, Norm.
[00:50:43] Speaker G: Since Tony can't win a prize, I.
[00:50:45] Speaker C: Think we should send it to Fran.
[00:50:48] Speaker B: I think that's an excellent idea, but, however.
[00:50:54] Speaker F: I don't really care.
[00:50:55] Speaker B: Oh, well, that's your.
[00:50:56] Speaker F: It's fun just playing the game.
[00:50:58] Speaker B: No, you're a wonderful person, and we knew that would be your attitude.
[00:51:01] Speaker D: So she comes up with the I don't really care when she lost.
[00:51:06] Speaker B: Hey, listen, all of you, I appreciate the fact that you have joined in this world game with us.
[00:51:11] Speaker D: Jay.
[00:51:11] Speaker B: Thank you, Jess, so darn much.
[00:51:13] Speaker C: Good night.
[00:51:14] Speaker B: Good night.
Well, it was easy to get rid of that guy, wasn't it, huh?
[00:51:19] Speaker D: Certainly was.
[00:51:19] Speaker B: Good night. Yeah, I suppose, Rose, you're gonna make it a long, drawn out kind of goodbye, huh? So we can't get rid of you right away.
[00:51:26] Speaker C: Good day, Norm.
[00:51:27] Speaker B: Bye. Bye, Rose. Thanks a lot. Bye, Tony.
[00:51:30] Speaker C: Bye.
[00:51:30] Speaker D: Bye. Bye.
[00:51:32] Speaker B: And Kim.
[00:51:33] Speaker D: Hi, Jack. You hear, Rose?
[00:51:34] Speaker B: She said, bye, Kim. Thank you very much.
[00:51:38] Speaker F: Thanks, Norm. Good morning.
[00:51:40] Speaker B: Okay. Good morning to you. You did very, very well. And so did you, Fran.
[00:51:44] Speaker F: Thank you, Norm.
And good night, all.
[00:51:47] Speaker B: Let's meet again sometime after the war at that little cafe at Antwerp, okay? Okay. Take care.
Okay. And Jack?
[00:51:55] Speaker D: Yes?
[00:51:56] Speaker B: Oh, be quiet.
We'll be talking with you again in about 15 minutes because I know you want to scout out the traffic now.
[00:52:03] Speaker E: Whoosh.
[00:52:03] Speaker B: Yes?
Who? Chefs.
[00:52:06] Speaker D: Oh, the car going by.
[00:52:10] Speaker B: I thought I detected some excitement. Yeah, there's a truck. Yeah, yeah. You saw a car going behind you.
[00:52:16] Speaker D: What was that? Jack, do you have a little gas there? What was that?
[00:52:20] Speaker B: You know what? You could be saying something soon. How. What's. When is your Last report? Oh, 5, 35, 30. You can. You can talk about the tremendous amount of traffic that's heading north to Wilmington.
[00:52:32] Speaker D: Yeah, absolutely.
[00:52:33] Speaker B: For the farm. Farm stand.
[00:52:35] Speaker D: No, I think I think his last report was at 3. When. Because management is on its way in right now.
[00:52:41] Speaker B: You can make it. You can make it good. By putting a big pitch in for the farm stand. Absolutely. It's going to be at the Shriners.
[00:52:47] Speaker D: Auditorium and the Wrentham station.
[00:52:49] Speaker B: That's right. So be traffic heading down, down to 495 and up Route 93 and the whole business.
And you know what? I do? Because I'm going up to the one in Wilmington to the Shriners.
And so what I'm going to do is to kind of travel back and forth several times before I actually stop up there.
That'll give you a false impression of what traffic is really like because you'll count me each time separately.
But what the heck, it's for God in my country. Yeah.
[00:53:18] Speaker D: And that's how jazz was born.
[00:53:21] Speaker B: That's right. Because I have family values. I don't know about you guys.
Hey, thank you very much. Talk to you soon, Jack.
[00:53:29] Speaker D: Okay.
[00:53:30] Speaker B: And Tony, you want to hang up on me? I know my son of a gun. He already did.
I think something.
Something is kind of strange here. Hold on just a moment. One moment, please.
Thank you so much.
[00:53:47] Speaker E: Does your baby suffer from red irritating diaper rash?
[00:53:51] Speaker C: He was crying.
[00:53:52] Speaker F: When you have diaper rash, it burns. I mean, it really hurts.
[00:53:56] Speaker E: Now your baby can get relief from diaper rash with New Baby Gold Bond Medicated Powder. Just listen to Karen Miller, a grandmother from Robbinsdale, Minnesota.
[00:54:05] Speaker F: But you need some kind of a medication to help keep the skin dry in between the diaper and the skin.
I'm glad they've got the Baby Gold Bond.
It did work.
[00:54:15] Speaker E: New Baby Gold Bond Medicated Powder combines zinc oxide with the finest talcum powder to relieve baby's red, irritated skin. Baby Gold Bond also protects baby's sensitive skin against diaper rash, chafing and minor skin irritations.
[00:54:32] Speaker F: He likes it. It was nice and soothing. He's not even two yet, but he's boss of what goes on in his body. So he likes the Blue Baby Gold Bond. I've recommended it because I really think it's great.
[00:54:45] Speaker E: For your baby's diaper rash, try New Baby Golbond Medicated Powder now at drugstores and supermarkets everywhere. Use only as directed.
[00:54:53] Speaker D: When's the last time you tried Ovaltine?
[00:54:56] Speaker E: I won't start off the day without it. The first time I drank Ovaltine, I was only three years old. And you know what? Ovaltine tastes as good today as it did then. And it's so nutritious. I don't take vitamin tablets.
[00:55:11] Speaker D: Fact is, just two glasses of classic Ovaltine and milk contain more than 10 essential vitamins and minerals. That's extra nutrients you won't find in coffee, cocoa or tea. With Ovaltine, you get almost 100% of the daily recommended allowance of B complex vitamins A, C and D, plus lots of other important nutrients.
[00:55:34] Speaker E: I brought all three of my kids up on Ovaltine and now I've introduced it to my grandchildren. They all love Ovaltine. You'd be surprised how easy it is to get kids to drink something that's good for them when it tastes as good as Ovaltine.
[00:55:51] Speaker D: Isn't it time you discovered classic Ovaltine? Ovaltine tastes good and it's good for you. Ovaltine.
[00:56:01] Speaker B: Let's check the 5 day WBC AccuWeather forecast from John park. And the weather forecast over the next several days looks great. Looks particularly nice for today for the farm stand again at the Shriners Auditorium in Wilmington right off Route 93 and also at the grounds of the Wrentham State School which is off of Route 495.
And like that, I hope you a lot of activities going on at both places. So whenever you come down from 7:30 on this morning, meet a lot of folks. In fact, Dave Mana will be broadcasting his Saturday morning show from there from the 10th annual farm stand with a whole lot of interesting people who will be dropping by as well to talk with him. And a lot of the other WBC people will be including, including me. Oh my goodness. So come by and say hello. Anyway, here's the forecast.
Clear and chilly throughout the rest of the night with lows near 50. It's about 53, 53 degrees right now outside our BZ studios.
And then Saturday highs will be about 68 under sunny skies and then warming up a little bit throughout the rest of the week. Sunday, Monday and Tuesday, when it'll be up in the 70s but under sunny skies. A lot of good days ahead so far as the weather is concerned.
And again right now it's 53 in Boston.
[00:57:31] Speaker D: Dillon to throw.
[00:57:32] Speaker B: Looks, fires down in touchdown to Marv Cookowski. Back to throw. First down, slant intercepted. Back to throw. End zone caught.
[00:57:39] Speaker D: Touchdown Marv Cook.
[00:57:40] Speaker C: Snap.
[00:57:41] Speaker B: The ball is down. The kick is up.
[00:57:42] Speaker D: On the way and good. The Patriots open their season in Anaheim.
[00:57:47] Speaker B: When they take on the Los Angeles Rams.
[00:57:49] Speaker D: Hi, this is Gil Santos. Join Gino Capelletti and me tomorrow afternoon, 2 o' clock for the tailgate show. 4 o' clock kickoff here on the home of the New England Patriots. WBZ News radio 1030.
[00:58:04] Speaker B: Okay, I. I've been found out. Wrong again. So I'm told that Jackie Cooper really was for a while a member of our gang. Also Mickey Rooney was.
And Robert Blake was. Robert Blake might have been. Some of them came in and out very quickly, but I don't remember any of them as being permanent members for any length of time. But Norma, our friend Norma, who lives in Boston, apparently looked it up in the magic book of movie stuff and found out that that turned out to be so. Okay, well, thank you for the information.
Hey, here's the guy who's going to be down there at the farm stand this morning. Wolfie, you just getting up or are you going to.
[00:58:46] Speaker G: I just showered, shaved and did the other bit and we got problems.
[00:58:54] Speaker B: What's that?
[00:58:55] Speaker G: Well, Dave sent me on a mission as to get a container of coffee and donuts.
And the persons that I was supposed to contact, I can't get them on the telephone because the other party that is there knows absolutely nothing about the coffee or the donuts.
So anybody, so as to save me from being pummeled, roughed up, brutally mutilated or otherwise, I suggest on your way to the Wilmington Auditorium, you pick up a few dozen donuts and if you can find your canteens, Chinex.
[00:59:56] Speaker B: Tepals.
[01:00:00] Speaker C: I.
[01:00:00] Speaker B: Think we get the drift.
[01:00:03] Speaker G: One of those vacuum bottles that he keeps throwing out of 94 floor windows that don't break and fill them up with all types of coffee. Like the way weird out fellow that went into a coffee place one day and he had a vacuum bottle that held four cups. And he said to the guy behind the counter, will this thing handle four cups of coffee?
And the guy says, certainly will. He says, all right, give me a half and half. Give me a regular. Give me one light.
Wow, that went over your head like.
[01:00:45] Speaker B: Though I catch on something about the phrasing of it that kind of threw me off like the.
[01:00:51] Speaker G: Like the chicken soup.
[01:00:53] Speaker B: So you can't get this person because somebody else is answering his phone.
[01:00:57] Speaker G: Somebody is answering his phone and I can't get Lou or the other guy.
And Maynard I know, I think is probably in a hotel up there either in Andover or somewhere.
Did he leave a number with the.
With you guys over there where he can get reached?
[01:01:20] Speaker B: Yeah, there's a number here and it says, don't give it to Wolfie.
[01:01:23] Speaker G: Well, don't give it to me, but get in touch with him. So we get coffee and donuts or otherwise.
[01:01:28] Speaker B: Okay. I don't know that we do have a phone number for him up there. I suspect he may still be home.
[01:01:33] Speaker G: No, he isn't home. We've already tried to contact.
[01:01:37] Speaker B: Oh, I see. Okay.
All right, we'll see what we can do. All right, thank you, Wolfie. We'll see you later. Listen, I gotta go.
[01:01:45] Speaker G: Wait, wait. One more thing.
[01:01:46] Speaker B: Very, very quickly.
[01:01:47] Speaker G: Bring something and buy something, and when you bring something, bring it over to my table, okay?
[01:01:52] Speaker B: WBZ Boston. It is now news time. It's four o' clock now.
[01:01:57] Speaker D: Let's check the five day WBZ accuweather forecast. Here's meteorologist John Park.
[01:02:04] Speaker G: Mainly clear, moonlit and chilly overnight with.
[01:02:07] Speaker B: A low near 50 degrees for the.
[01:02:09] Speaker G: Rest of this weekend. Saturday and Sunday, plenty of sunshine with cold mornings and pleasant afternoons.
[01:02:15] Speaker B: Saturday's high, 68 degrees.
[01:02:16] Speaker G: The high on Sunday, 72 in the long range. Monday and Tuesday, mostly Sunny.
[01:02:22] Speaker B: Monday's high, 75. The high on Tuesday, up to 78 degrees.
[01:02:26] Speaker G: I'm WBC AccuWeather meteorologist John Park.
[01:02:31] Speaker B: So you are my son, but I'm sorely sorry. We have strict security here. You'll have to show me some identification.
I don't know.
That was stupid comment on my part, but I. I just felt like saying something silly.
We'll take some calls in just a few minutes at 2, 5, 4, 10:30. Area code is 617.
But now it's back to the business, business of traffic.
[01:02:59] Speaker D: Yes.
[01:03:00] Speaker B: What effect traffic may have on the roads at this hour.
[01:03:03] Speaker D: Yes.
[01:03:03] Speaker B: Who is clogging up the highways and where they are doing it? That's our business.
[01:03:08] Speaker D: Yes.
[01:03:08] Speaker B: And that's the business of Jack Hart. He's engaged perhaps in one of the most perilous parts of broadcasting.
He's a traffic reporter.
[01:03:19] Speaker D: Yes.
[01:03:20] Speaker B: God knows his family. Every time he leaves work, they don't know whether he'll get back alive or not.
[01:03:26] Speaker D: This is Traffic Edition Extra Traffic Edition.
[01:03:29] Speaker B: Tell us the real truth. As you have discovered, up on those perilous highways.
[01:03:37] Speaker D: Work crews continuing on Route 3, northbound.
[01:03:40] Speaker B: And southbound, causing problems. Oh, my God.
Fate.
[01:03:45] Speaker D: Or was it done on purpose? Our investigators will look into it. They are northbound and southbound on Route 3 right now between Chelmsford and Tingsborough, right up to the New Hampshire border to watch.
Watch out for them. They will be causing you problems no matter where you go. Slowing you down as the sun starts to.
As the sun starts to rise. Beware of evil work crews that lurk on that roadway downtown. Oddly enough, we are starting to see more cars hit the roadway, overtaking the roads, entering tunnels left and right.
[01:04:28] Speaker A: The fun must end somewhere. And sometimes it's when the tape runs out. Still, all in all, a fitting conclusion to this episode.
Before we lock up, let's hear about the Federal Jobs Digest.
[01:04:41] Speaker E: Does your boss appreciate you?
[01:04:43] Speaker B: You'd be appreciated if you worked for your uncle. I mean your Uncle Sam. The federal government.
[01:04:48] Speaker E: Uncle Sam appreciates his workers.
[01:04:51] Speaker F: You get a raise every year.
[01:04:52] Speaker E: Could pay great benefits. Interesting work.
[01:04:56] Speaker B: And Uncle Sam is hiring right now.
[01:04:58] Speaker E: Over 20,000 people a month.
[01:05:00] Speaker D: For information on how to get a federal job, subscribe to the Federal Jobs Digest.
[01:05:05] Speaker E: It worked for me.
[01:05:07] Speaker B: The federal government is now hiring in your area. Jobs are open in many occupations without tests. A newspaper called the Federal Jobs Digest lists these jobs. You see exactly how to apply for each opening. A subscription costs $29 money back if you're not satisfied. To subscribe to the Federal Jobs Digest by credit card or COD, call 1-800-543-8000 again, 1-800-543, 8000.
Your uncle is hiring.
[01:05:43] Speaker E: Join the family.
[01:05:45] Speaker A: Closing the vault and leaving this world a little sillier than we found it for Lou Innes. Little adorable people from Rhode island with cute voices, little boots, a guitar and a 15 liter cowboy hat. Big Hungarian dinners. Jack singing Midnight at the Oasis.
Subways are a hole in the ground. Wicked excitement. Norm's Barry White impression. The hereditary. Ah, I never heard of him. Jeans.
Norm, the failed matchmaker. Fractured English skipping along. Putting your sweet lips a little closer to the phone. Giving good projection. So much so that you get all goose. Pimply Skippy. The very wrinkly 12 year old. Trite, cliche ridden remarks. The trite cliche. WBZ shop on the 73rd floor of Broadcast City.
76, that's the spirit. 77, that's the strip. And 66, that's. That's the route. All we needed was 55. That's the limit. We would have had four of a kind. Norm's terrible Peter Falk impression. Live imitations. Old stains, likely stories. Tense competitive moments. Norm's foot fetish. Tall foreheads. Norm's dark side again.
Various station Bacall letters like LAR only station Bacaller Lucille. An economy of jokes. Wiping out your teacup with a microphone. Bear claws and tiger skins. Explaining the jokes. Unsigned obscene notes. Norm's John McLaughlin impression Scoring mishaps and revisions. Implicit trust. Adding a dumb birthday cassette to a time capsule. Lavish Westinghouse salaries.
The WBZ farm stand being held at dual locations. Shriners Auditorium in Wilmington and at the Wrentham State School. Norm creating traffic for Jack's report. God country jazz and family values. The magic book of movie stuff, baby Gold. Bond, classic. Ovaltine, existentialism. Dave Maynard, the wise. Cowardly marshmallow smeared. Say that a few times fast. Jack Hart in the Long Armed Impressionist. Norm Nathan. I'm Norm's arch enemy. Tony Nesbitt.
[01:08:08] Speaker B: I get in the middle of a sentence sometimes. I don't even know what I'm. What I'm saying.
