Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Thank you. Yes, you right there, for taking the time to listen and being a faithful customer. Here at the Vault of Silliness. Today's feature is a dumb birthday game from July 5, 1996, which I've titled the Cluttered Desk of Junky Prizes. Tom Howey was producing the players.
Jack Hart, Mike from Mansfield, Skip in Alpena, Michigan, Andy from Somerville. Now, Mike Epstein and yours truly were supposed to be playing, but I'm sure the new studio blues prevent that from happening. The birthdays, Huey Lewis, Kathryn Hellman, Rich Goose Gossage and Robbie Robertson. And we get our history lesson. In what year did Larry Doby sign a contract with the Cleveland Indians, becoming the first black player in the American League? In what year was the Salvation army founded in London, England by William Booth?
And in what year did Thomas Cook start the first travel agency?
Oh, and speaking of historical facts, we are graced with more sage advice from Norm's Hungarian gypsy princess grandmother. Episode 295. The Cluttered Desk of junkie prizes piles its way to your ears in 3, 2, and 1.
[00:01:17] Speaker B: Members of the panel, of course, first of all, the very lovely and exciting Jack Hyde, ladies and gentlemen. Let's give them a big welcome here at the Teen canteen.
Well, sorry, we have another one of those lethargic groups of kids as part of the teen can't. Come on, can you, can you just pick up a little bit, Give the guy some encouragement? Well, I understand with the air conditioning in the new studio that they're all wearing thick gloves so they could be applauding madly and.
No, they're not. They're just lying there.
They're not even lifting. They're not even lifting their hands up. It's really pitiful. You're pitiful. You're a pitiful lot. We built because, I mean, we built, we built this whole new, new setup here. You know, we enlarged the WBZ building. It's now bigger, actually, I think it's. It's about the same size as the American Airlines hangar over at Logan Airport. No kidding. Yeah, and it's much, much plusher, of course, than that. And these kids don't even care. They don't have any respect.
Kids today are not like kids when I was a kid. They're just sitting around drinking that tonic and relaxing. They are, They're. They're drinking their Gatorade and, and their Oval team. They mix the Gatorade with the Oval team. Yeah, doesn't that sound awful?
They get a multi beverage full of niacin and they put back their Electrolytes. I think what it does is make them fall asleep because they all look comatose. They're just lying there. Their eyes are open, though. I see, but they're not moving. They're just kind of bulging. Well, you see, that's the effect of the, of the, of the Ovaltine and Gatorade. That'll pop your eyes open and knock you right out at the same time. You must be a doctor.
Yes.
Okay, so what we're going to do is obviously play the, the dumb birthday game. There aren't a whole lot of well known people who are born on July 5, which of course is today's date. Which means that if you're going to have any children who you expect are going to be. Do very well in life and become famous, this would be a good day for them to be born. Plan for the July 5th. Well, but then again, you know, then, you know, the, the day after the fourth of July, you know, nobody wants to do. Nobody wants to do birthday parties and things like that the day after the thing. And so they would get cheated. They would get gypped.
You know, you're wise beyond years. Just when I'm thinking you're pathetically stupid, Jack, you come up with something. And I say to myself, this man is not incorrigibly dumb.
I think he's got something going there. And it just came out now. Now it's gone. Yeah, I know. In between, I still, you know, the stupid thing flashes through my head.
That's awful to say that about anybody, just to get a cheap laugh. Yes. And I'm like, do I get a cheap laugh from you kids?
You can't even get a cheap laugh from these kids. They're still lying on the floor staring. Not even a nervous titter? No, absolutely nothing at all. You know, Norm, I heard you talking earlier about people shaving with a mug and a brush, so on, so on. I use a mug and a brush to shave. No kidding? Yeah. No. What kind of, what kind of eraser do you use? Well, I use, actually, I use one of the latest technology, one of these razors that not only does the head pivot, but it bends in the middle to shape the contours of my rough, chiseled features and my prominent Adam's apple.
What do you call the razor blade? Oh, it's, it's the, the Schick fx, I think. Well, that sounds like something you could fly to the moon in. Yeah. Shave, shave while you're taking off for outer space. Oh, but boy, does it give you A nice shave. And then you see with the mug and the brush, what the deal is is not only using a nice, comfortable, warm brush to lather up your face, but the action of the brush itself is sort of stirring up the whiskers so that you can better lope them off.
That is really just so darn nice, you know, because I used to have a brush and everything.
But you really make a big deal out of shaving that. Because that takes a little while to get, you know, get everything going. Well, you see, the thing of it is, is that I shave in the shower. I think that when it comes to shaving in a former life, I must have been a medieval barber, you know, the ones that did the bloodletting. Yes. Well, you see. Yeah, I. People ask me, why am I thin? I shave, you know, I just. It just pours out of me. So I had to come up with like, the best way to shave so that I wouldn't be constantly anemic.
Oh, otherwise you bleed a lot. Oh, I just. Just hack off. Just. Just shards of skin. So when you're shaving there, blood is dripping all over your skinny body, pouring all over the place? Absolutely. Just. Oh, my word.
I see. And somehow the brush and this shaving mug doesn't seem to do anything. She must still be bleeding a lot. Oh, I still get some nicks and cuts, but the. The brush itself helps to. Helps to raise the whis.
I see. You see, we ought to make a video of this thing and offer it and maybe with the. Don't. With the money coming in, going to children's hospital or something as a donation.
I can't even picture that victim shaving injuries contributed to. Yeah, because I used to use a.
My father especially I mentioned that. Used to use the brush and the shaving mug and all that kind of stuff. He would make a whole big thing out of shaving. He would start, you know, early in the morning and he'd still be shaving till mid afternoon, take a lunch break and go back to shaving. It's kind of funny.
There's a commercial by Henry Morgan way, way back when the injector razor came out of the market.
And you could buy about 7,000 blades for about 12 cents back then. And you could shave very quickly. There are a lot of blades like that now that.
That are. That are quite good to help you to shave.
Anyway, he does the commercial for it and he talks about the Schick injector razor blade and stuff. And he says the Evershop shick injector razor. People were thinking about putting vitamins in the blade so that in the event that you cut yourself, the vitamins go directly into your bloodstream.
And I thought, I mean, what a way to sell a blade, even to suggest that you're going to cut yourself with it. And he does.
Well, he does another one where he has a demonstration. This is radio, so you're not watching anything, but he has a demonstration of a guy shaving himself to show how quickly you can shave with a check and eject eraser. And, you know, the music is playing to give the idea that the guy's shaving very fast.
And at the end of about 20 seconds, he's through shaving and Henry Morgan asks him, how do you feel? And the guy says, bloody. Can you imagine selling. Selling razors with that kind of a pitch? Which is why I loved Henry Morgan. I mean, he was really.
He made. He made Arthur Godfrey look like Mr. Suck up to the boss kind of guy, you know, because you always thought of him as kind of a.
As a rebel. Yes.
Anyway, I think we've covered shaving, and I think we're ready to begin the first chapter of our book.
And playing the part of Jack Hart is Sharon Stone. Thank you.
Let's see who else is playing.
Mike Epstein, our producer here, who said he was going to drop by and play the game with us. Tony.
Tony Nesbitt was going to play with the game with us. And Tom Howie, who's our producer, cannot.
That was kind of interesting. Was that. Was that. Did you open the lions cage? That sounded funny.
Anyway, Tom. Tom Howie. Can I play the game? Because he's, you know, he's. He's tired of producing this program.
Yeah. And also he's checking to make sure that he got the right amount in his paycheck yesterday.
Yeah. It's terribly important because, you know, they'll cheat you here. Sure. No extra pay, no extra work. No. Well, what they do is, you know, they build these extra studios and everything. Somebody's got to pay for it. So they, they kind of shortchange the entire staff when they're handing out paychecks, a little extra taxation.
It's a wonder they don't just dump me from here. I must be more trouble than I'm worth. Oh, no, you're, you're. You play not only an important role in WBZ, but in the. On the earth. You keep people happy. And if somebody's smiling and they smile at somebody going down the street who could have potentially been grumpy, they smile at somebody Else and somebody else. Finally the world is happy. It's a chain reaction, isn't it? Because when you're smiling, the whole world smiles.
Hey, I think we're onto something here. You think it'd be a song?
I don't think it'd make a song, but maybe it'd be a good couplet. Anyway, let's. Let's. Let me. Let me see. Who else is playing the game besides you? Jack. Okay, we have Mike from Mansfield, who's always fun and a pleasure to have on the dumb birthday game. How are you doing, Mike? Hi, Norm.
Is that all you can say? I thought you were. I just introduced you to Jack as being fun and you show me a man that smiles when the whole world smiles and I'll show you a shick injector. Son of a gun. You've been reading from my Hungarian gypsy princess grandmother's notebook. She used to say stuff like that. She said, show me a man who keeps a stiff upper lip and smiles a lot despite the fact that the world is falling apart beside him, despite the fact that he's going through a field of misery.
Show me that man who still is kind and fun to be with despite the evils of the world. Show me that kind of a man and I'll show you a dandelion.
Push, pull, click, click, change blades that quick.
That was the ever sharp chick injector racer slogan, wasn't it? That's right. You remember that son of. You're okay, Mike. Okay, let's see who else is playing. We have. Skip is out in Michigan. Hi, Skip. Hi. How the heck are you, Norm?
That's kind of a folksy way to say hello, how the heck are you?
How the heck are you? They used to say that when I was a kid too. Except they used to say, hey, how the hell are you? What do you say, huh?
Yeah, and then I pinch you. Did you ever have an older relative who pinched you in the cheek to show affection and it would leave a black and blue moss.
Am I the only person, the living human being who's ever had relatives like that? Never got bit?
Yeah, no, I had.
I had. I had some older uncles that were like, how are you normally, baby? What do you say? And then they pull your cheek off, you know, to a point where your tongue would be paralyzed for about a week.
And they thought, wasn't that. Isn't he adorable? Look at the way he's writhing in pain.
He's so sweet with his bust of brown shoes and his little knickers and his Big swollen tongue and a bruise in his face. That's right, too.
Anyway, where. Where are you in Michigan, Skip? Alpena. Alpena. Boy, I wish I were there. Now, that is one of the most incredibly beautiful places on. On God's green earth. It's. Yeah, it's in the woods. Now, where is that? Anyway, no, I'm just joking. Obviously, I've never been there. Alpena. Yeah, it's right on the 45th parallel. On the lake.
On Lake Huron. Oh, Lake Huron. So you're. You. You. You're not on the Upper Peninsula. Not quite that far up.
80 miles south. 80 miles south of.
Yeah, Mackinac. That's right. The Mackinac Bridge and Mackinac island and all. But handy enough so you can get lots of good fudge from there. Oh, yeah, sure. Okay. For folks who are not as well traveled as Skip and I are not fudgies. Yeah, that's right. Mackinac island, which is off the Upper Peninsula. Or right at the. At the break. Straight from Mackinac. Straits of Mackinac. There's an island there. It's a grand hotel. Whole lot of stuff. And anyway, they're noted for fudge.
There aren't too many places in the world that are noted for fudge, Skip. I noticed that. Do they have a good Panucci?
It goes well with fudge.
Does that satisfy you, Jack? Does that answer your question?
I don't even know what any of that means. Well, Panucci. Panucci fudge. Yeah. No, I've had Panucci fudge. And Skip said. What? What did you say? Skip? It goes well with fudge with Mackina island fudge. Oh, I see. The finest fudge in Michigan. Okay, so they make. No, I guess the question from Jack was, do they make that kind of fudge there?
I have never heard of that.
Yeah, I live in Michigan, and the Red Sox aren't so bad if you live here.
I know Detroit is gonna be horrible. They're even worse than the Red Sox.
Detroit has already lost the pennant for next year.
They're that far behind. It's really pitiful.
Okay, let's go to Andy, who's in Somerville. Andy, hi. Welcome to WBZ and the dumb birthday game. How you doing?
Well, the question is, how are you doing? Because we care more about you than we care about ourselves.
What do you think? Andy, What's. Pardon me. I'm doing all right. Are you okay? You awake and everything? Yeah. Okay. You know how we play the game. I give you a list of events that happen on this Day. You tell me the year and I give you a list of people born on this date. And you tell me when they. How old you think they are. And whoever comes the closest to the correct answers in all categories beats everybody out, gets a whole pile of junk. Does that sound like a wonderful idea for a game? Yay.
Okay, let's start with Huey Lewis.
Today's his birthday. He was born July 5.
Huey Lewis and the News.
He was born Hugh Anthony Craig iii.
And that's impressive, isn't it? Yeah. In New York City. Hugh Anthony Craig iii. Yeah.
The. His initials would spell out hack, the H, A, C. But he, he came to be Huey Lewis. Why not Huey Greg Craig. He formed his San Francisco Six Man Band the news in 1980. Pay attention now to these dates because that might help you guess his age.
Biggest hits, the Power of Love from the film Back to the Future and Stuck with you.
Oh, I haven't seen much of much of Huey Lewis. He used to be on MTV a whole lot. You know, he's have some stuff by him.
As you can see, I'm a MTV fan.
I know all the latest stuff because you know why? Because I'm a 90s kind of guy. I see I'm the oldest, probably the oldest viewer of mtv and they're proud of me for that. And you're doing all the latest dance steps.
That's right.
Okay. He made his film debut in the movie Shortcuts and it's Huey Lewis.
Okay, Huey Lewis. Let's start with you, Mike. What do you think? How old do you think Huey Lewis is today?
42. 42.
Okay. As you know, and I hope I have your permission for all of you on this. As, as we jot down the names, your guesses, they go up on a big scoreboard outside the studio here on Mars, on not Marsie Boulevard. That's where I used to work on Soldiers Field Road. So that a lot of motors going by slowdown and they, they keep up to date with what's happening with the dumb birthday game.
Yes. Well, I'm glad I said that.
Skip, how old do you think.
How old do you think Huey Lewis is today? 43. 43. Okay. And Andy? 44. Andy says 44.
That, that leaves an obvious guess for you, Jack. But I know that you're not an obvious person.
Well, there's two possibilities here. I can go one way or I could go the other. Go ahead.
I'll say 45. 45 would be the closest because actually he's 46. Okay. Smoke, Okie, Smoke. Listen the point is, yesterday one of our staff people won, so I don't. They don't get gifts. That was Tom. That was. Was that you, Tom? Yesterday? No, no, no, Tom wasn't here yesterday. Mike. Oh, it was Mike. Mike. That's right. Mike Epstein won yesterday. It was the first time he ever won, I think. Yeah, what's that? No, the whole thing is I've got a bunch of junk which I'm cluttering, stuff I want to get rid of.
So Mike, Skip and Andy, please pull yourselves together and win this thing. Just cut Jack off and we'll be okay. Well, I know that, but there's no reason why he should win just because, you know, I mean, he's. He's got techniques and everything. Now, you see, I'm presenting a challenge to the three of you so that. So that you. You just gather all the strength. Strength. All the power, all the knowledge in your mind and use it, your reasoning powers and your reasoning abilities, and put it all together to come up with the correct answers.
And this is why Jack teaches at the Kennedy School of Diplomacy and Everything, because he can inspire students just the way he inspired all of you just then. That was a wonderful talk. Thank you, Jack. And anyway, Katherine Hellman.
Now, the name may not be as familiar. Or is the name familiar to you already? I know who she is. Okay? She is the. She's an actress.
She played Jessica Tate on the primetime TV serial soap, and she's been Mona on the TV series who's the Boss?
She's been on that for eight seasons.
Catherine Hellman, she plays the. Yeah, she's the. She's the mother type, but she's an older woman, I think. Yeah, she's a. She's a. She's a tiny little woman and usually plays sort of like an. An older woman with, like a little bit of a. Sort of a sexual side, you know, and little, teeny, weeny, little lady.
She sounds like the kind of woman I'd love to meet, and I must meet, because I'm hungry for that kind of woman.
Heavens, no.
A teeny woman with sensuality. Oh, yeah. Oh, stop. Stop saying it. You're driving me crazy.
How old do you think that teeny woman with the sexual tendencies. Katherine Hellman, the teeny woman, was. Yeah. How old, Jack? How old you say? Well, let me think. She is. Yeah. Now, she turned up in an episode of Car 54. Where are you Once.
Oh, that goes back a bit. Yeah. So let me see, there was like, 61 to 63.
Listen, all of you, listen. Very closely to the way Jack is reasoning this thing out. This will give you tips on how to think about it in your own way. You see, what I'm doing is I'm going through the process aloud.
And that way, you see, if anyone wants to follow along and count on their fingers, you see, you can't.
Let's. So that would have been, let's say, 34 years ago. And let's say she was 30 at the time.
I'm gonna say. And then I'll add a little bit on for good measure. I'll say she's 68. You'll say 68 for Katherine Hellman? Yes. Okay. What would you say, Andy?
70.
See, now Andy just said that out there. Was that the way to do it, Jack? Because he didn't seem to reason that out. Or maybe he did, unless he was following along. Or is it. Or is very quick with the ma and the reasoning skills. That's right. He might have already done the reasoning before he gave the answers. Yes, I suppose we could answer. Ask him how we reason that out. But he doesn't sound like he wants to talk too much.
On Coach. Right. Well, pardon me. She plays on Coach right now.
I don't know. Does she? I have no idea. I don't know about that. No, I haven't heard about that.
Skip out there in Michigan, what do you think?
65. 65 says skip. And Mike 67.
Mike says 67. She is actually 62.
So I believe that skip up there in Michigan, 80 miles south of the upper peninsula, is the closest. He said 65.
Yes. So he's the closest. So we now have a Jack with one win and Skip with one win. And boy, this is really beginning to build up to a point where I'm getting goosebumps which. Which kind of leads into the next birthday person who's Rich Goose Gossage, the baseball player who had a great fastball.
Or as we say, you notice when you're listening to baseball, depending on who's doing the game on radio, when they say a fastball, they say it fast. Like, there he goes. It's a fastball.
Now it's a change of pace. A slow ball.
Now a fastball.
There's some. There's some. The sportscasters like that that become very graphic as they describe a game. And it's way up there. It's high iron going to the outfit feel high fastball.
Anyway, I'm glad you find me amusing because tell you the truth, I'm kind of bored with me rich goose Gossage New York Yankee relief pitcher.
That's all it says about it. Doesn't say, you know, when he. When he played or anything.
He played up to fairly recently as a matter. Maybe he still played. Could he still be playing? I don't know.
I don't know. He's from Colorado Springs, Colorado, which there's not a clue to anything. But what do you think, Skip? How old do you think Rich Goose Sausage is with those fastballs?
46. 46. Okay. And Mike, what do you say?
I'd say 44. 44.
Okay. He laid down a bunt that's just going up toward the.
Oh, it's foul.
Goose Gossage is foul.
Yes, that's right. I guess that's so I thought of it in that sense.
Andy, What? How old do you think goose gossage is? 42. 42, okay. And Jack?
Oh, I never know sports people, but I hate to duck the question.
Oh, God, this is a.
This is such a segment. So, Rich. Go ahead, Jacob.
I wish I had some information I could take a gander at, but I don't. So I'll say he's 51. 51. He's actually 45 years old today.
I think Skip and Mike Both came within one year. Mike said. Mike said 44, and Skips at 46. So we have those. Those two won.
So we have Mike with one win, you with one win, Jack, and Skip with two wins. Whoosh. Oh, there goes the junk.
Oh, I hope so. I certainly hope so. Pickup truck will be backing up to your door.
I'm trying to decide whether or not just to send the winner some. The junk I got piled up on the. On my desk in the kitchen. Or maybe just send them the entire desk, which is kind of a piece of junk by itself. Might. Might do that.
Okay. Robbie Robertson.
The neighbors must wonder when they see all this stuff coming out of my house every day, where it's going.
It's a prize for someone. That's a prize. That piece of jet junk, you mean?
Just don't drop it. Accidentally on my lawn, fella.
Anyway, Robbie Robertson.
Do any of you know him? He's a guitar player. Member of the band. That's right. He played guitar for the band in the 60s and 70s.
Their biggest hit was called up on Cripple Creek. You knew that? Yeah, yeah. In night. That was 1969. Wow. The group back Bob Dylan for a while. Yep. Robbie is in the movies now and toured with Ringo's All Star Band.
And that's Robbie Robertson. Yep. That seems to be his real name too. I believe it is. I believe it is. And he's a Canadian. He's from. That's right, from Toronto, Canada.
Robbie Robertson. Andy, what do you think?
He's about 38. 38, okay, and what do you think, Jack?
Let's see, that's 1969. Was that. So that's 27 years ago.
That's right. Was up on Cripple Creek. Upon Cripple Creek. As she sends me.
Let's see, I gotta say he's gonna be 51. 51. Okay, Mike, what do you say? 53. Mike says 53. And what do you say, Skip? 54. Mike says 54.
Oh, so this is, this is really tightening up to an exciting game. Robbie Robertson today is 52.
So that means we have two winners who are within one year of that. Mike said 53 and Jack's at 51.
So we have a three way tie, two wins apiece by Mike, Skip and Jack, who said this was not an exciting, sweaty kind of game. You see, they're taking the challenge and they're going with it.
Absolutely. Fella. I feel an oncoming crescendo. Okay, you know what we're gonna do now? See, now we pretty much run out of people who were born on this day. Not too many born on July 5th who are even moderately well known. So we're gonna. I'm gonna give you a historical fact that happened also on July 5th. And you tell me what year that was. That's because that's kind of fun too. Yeah, that could be a whole game in itself. Yeah, the dumb historical fact game.
Cleveland.
The guy from Cleveland.
Yes, that's right. He was doing similar kinds of stuff.
This is. Larry Doby signed a contract. Speaking of Cleveland. This is such a coincidence.
Larry Doby signed a contract with the Cleveland Indians, becoming the first black player in baseball's American League.
In his debut, the same day Doby struck out. Oh, I was kind of hoping there'd be a happier ending than that.
Struck out as a pinch hitter against the White Sox in Chicago in a game that The Indians lost 6 to 5.
Anyway, that was the opening. Now what year?
It happened on this day, July 5th. But what year was that? Larry Doby, American League. First black player in the American League.
What year? I'll ask you, Skip, what do you think?
Asking you, because you're in Michigan and that's closer to Cleveland than the rest of us are.
And that makes no sense at all. I know, but I'll tell you the truth. This whole program doesn't make any sense? Why. Why they keep.
I think the only reason this program is still on the air is because the management's busy buying out every radio station in the entire world.
They're planning on syndicating you so that we can just give the whole world diversion. A good song. You don't need syndication when you can hear you all over the place. No, that's true. That's quite true. I'd say 55.
Okay. Skip says Larry Dobie made his debut in 1955.
And Mike, what do you think?
I don't know.
I see. Well, that's an honest answer.
Should ask him first.
Ah, Larry Doby.
Larry Doby. Yeah.
First in the American League. First black player in the American League.
I hope we get to the point where we don't have to keep talking that way. You know, the first black player to do this, the first black to do that, first woman to do this, where, you know, people are judged on their merits and.
No, you know what I mean? We just. Just like to get to the point where whether you're black or white or whatever or a man or a woman, it doesn't really matter that you're judged by what you do, and it doesn't become a whole big thing because of your background.
Yeah, I know. He wasn't on the 48 team.
You know that for a fact, Eh? Yep. Because I know the 48 team. Okay.
Because they. They played here in Boston.
Oh, the 48 Indians.
Okay, so. So what. What year would that have been then?
Would you mind if I just hummed too while you're thinking?
Roses all envy the plume of your cheek and the sun even envies your smile.
The poor weeping willow, it weeps when you speak. Its songs don't seem half worth the while you're singing.
Okay, you want to come up with something quick, Mike, before I go into the second verse, I'm gonna say 51. 1951. Okay.
And, Jack, what do you say? You know, I was think in 52. 1952. Okay. And, Andy, what do you think?
1953.
Okay. Actually, it was 1947, Mike. It was. Yes. I don't know. Maybe he didn't play that particular game in 48 that you were mentioning. No, the World Series.
Oh, the World Series against the Braves when they got cut. I don't know. He.
It was 1947 when he joined the Indians. And you were the closest Anyway. You said 51.
The next closest was Jack Harder said 52, and nobody said in the 40s at all. There goes the junk.
That's Right now you are. You just have now kind of leaned out into the lead. You have three.
And again, two by Skip and two by Jack and Tube for the little boy who lives down the lane.
Who wrote that in there?
Salvation army. This. Let me tell you the whole thing.
William Booth, who founded the. Founded the Salvation army in London, England.
All Salvation army officers are ordained ministers who have joined for life. The army operates in over 80 countries, but it was founded on July 5th in London, England, by, as we mentioned, by William Booth. What year, though? What year was that?
Salvation. Which incidentally, I think is one of the most unselfish, incredible organizations, charitable organizations in the world. I think it's very special.
So there you go.
Let's start with you. Let's see.
Jack, we'll start with you this time. Salvation. Salvation Army. Yes.
Wonder where he came up with the idea to have it. An army.
Yeah. No, I have no idea about that. What? Because he was. They were all ministers. I guess they all are ministers now. Whether somebody was.
I guess the kind of. That's kind of a term in religion, though, isn't it, in a way, the. An army. Army for God and all that?
Well, I suppose, yeah. Yes. Soldiers for God and such.
Salvation Army.
Tom Howie is saying really silly things in my ear.
I'm silly enough to repeat them. I want to know if there's a Salvation Navy, Salvation Army, Women's Corps or something like that.
Salvation Air Force.
Salvation Marines. Yeah. Salvation Coast Guard.
It's not bill of volunteer work. It's an adventure.
You can be everything you want it to be in the Salvation Army. Now, are you required to have to play an instrument to join the Salvation Army? Oh, I don't know.
I've heard some.
And again, remember I just said some nice things about salvation, which I really strongly believe. I think it's an incredibly wonderful group. So when I say I've heard some people playing instruments that should not be playing them, that may not be a requirement. You just have to think you can play it, I suppose, to be able to hold it.
Let's see.
1879.
1879. Okay. This is again. July 5th was the day was founded and the year. We're trying to figure out what year that would have been. And what do you think, Andy?
1902. Yeah, that was just that. Okay, Skip, what do you think? 1909. 1909. Okay.
And Mike?
1871. 1871 is the closest.
This was 1865, right at the end of the Civil War here. Although it was happened in London.
So you're the closest. And Jack said 1879, which is not far off either.
Okay, so Mike is just moving ahead and won't you. Won't you be just so pleased.
I'll rent a U Haul trailer and be. And be up at your home bright and early in the morning.
Okay. I'll meet you here at 5 and I'll drive home with you.
Okay. We'll back the thing up and just. I'll get a shovel and just throw the stuff right into the truck.
Oh, my youngest daughter who's now living with me at home. She'll be so pleased to get rid of this trash. I thank you so much, Mike. She's tired of walk inside with me. Yeah.
So you just accept it quietly and we'll send you the thank you note.
Okay. Here's the last one. Oh, I know it. I know it. You're having so much fun and suddenly it comes to the end and it's not really nice. No. It's like somebody saying no more of that chocolate raspberry ice cream. And it's such a long ride home to Lester.
Yeah, that's right.
Yes. Anyway, this event is. Thomas Cook started the travel agency business.
He actually started the tr. I guess there were no agencies at all before Thomas Cook. No kidding. How did people get there?
Let me see if it says here. It says they thumbed. They thumbed a ride.
I wonder if you're going to. Are you going to either Malagua or Tierra del Fuego?
It doesn't matter to me either way. I don't speak either language. In fact, I don't even know what language they speak at Tierra del Fuego.
His first guided trip, I wish I could say, was a train trip to Tierra del Fuego. But his first guided tour was a train trip in England for a temperance meeting.
Wow. That doesn't sound like a whole lot of fun at all. That's it.
Five fun filled nights without the booze. That's right too. You know, let me tell you, those of you on the Thomas Cook trip here, you don't need booze or other kinds of stimuli to have fun.
Same to you, fella. Wow. You just have to be high on life.
Thank you. Hello. Hello. So.
So. Drink your Ovaltine and shut up. Anyway, what year was that anyway? This. And I guess it was the first. The first travel agency. There were no travel agencies before that. Thomas Cook. What year we'll start with. Let's start with you, Mike. What do you think?
You all pretty much won this whole thing anyway.
But this will be Kind of a.
Kind of top it all off and they'll be so proud of you in Marsh Field.
I think I'll.
I think I'll say, oh, this is exciting. We're all waiting to hear. This is your off stage announcer.
We're waiting to hear now what Mike is going to say. Sounds like he's about to break the news and get the year very, very quickly.
Okay, so what do you think?
When temperance was big.
Yeah, that's right. That's a clue there, isn't it? Yeah. I don't know when temperance was big, though. Do you know? You all know.
I do. I made a study. I wrote my PhD. I got in.
I did my paper on temperance.
I'll say 1921. 1921, that's right. You're thinking the. Just during the times of.
What do they call that period? Bathtub, gym and temperance.
Prohibition. Yeah, prohibition. Prohibition, that's right.
Skip, what do you think? What year was that?
That Thomas Cook agent. Remember too, that it was the first agency, first travel agency. 25. 1925.
Okay, what do you think, Andy? 1918. 1918. And Jack, the temperance movie movement and train travel. They had train travel? Yes, you tell me the. You have been drinking and yet I can see foam all around your mouth and see the rabies or alcoholism. That's right.
You better have been bitten by a mad dog or you're out of here, fella.
Drunk dog.
Let's see.
I know what Jack is going to guess. You do? Oh, yeah.
Within two. Two dates. I know exactly what he's going to say. Okay. All in the 1800s.
Both in the 1800s.
I was thinking of saying something in the 1900s. Yeah, maybe. Maybe you've got a chance. Maybe. Maybe I can give you a little extra time, Jack, and you could call up the Psychic Network. I wonder if they have answers for this kind of stuff, too. I could just call Information.
Hello, Information. When was temperance popular?
That's right. It is information. If they don't know, you could really yell at them. Yeah. Who does? Yeah, how do you. How do you. You call yourself information and you don't even know.
Please, give me a break.
I was acting.
Most of the questions, Jack, are usually on historical events that Norm gives are usually rounded numbers, as you know. Usually rounded numbers. Yeah. Well, no, we had Larry doby. It was 1947. That wasn't too rounded. Well, a nine is sort of curvy and sensual.
Oh, please. There you go describing Catholic.
There we go. Yeah.
Now, like 1741, there's no round numbers. There.
I'd say 1892. 1892 is the closest. It's kind of funny. You just said 1741 and it was actually 1841. No kidding. 1841. Thomas Cook said, you know what we can do? Oh, he's did this in London here. There were trains and a temperance movement in London. Let's see. Yeah, it was. There was. What was that movie? That was.
That John belushi movie. Was 1841 or something? No, that was 1941. About World War II. War II. Oh, yeah, that was. Yeah, that was something else. 100 years. What? Yeah, no, give or take 100 years. What the heck is that in the history of mankind which extends millions of years?
So you're right. Anyway. No, there were trains then. Yeah, 19. 1841. 1841. There were trains. There were trains, John. There was a temperance movement in 1841.
There were many women who said, you drink that and I'm out of your life, fella. Yeah. And they were doing tours of London for temperance.
It doesn't seem to make any sense. Isn't that a town noted for its. For its pubs and. And it has been noted for that in. In the past several years. I don't know what it was like in. And here is another place that you can't be drinking in. And here's someplace else in which you can't be drinking. And there's another place at which you can't be drinking for.
We call them pubs. They stand for public.
Yeah, they didn't have locomotives, but they had the trains.
They just didn't have the engines yet. Oh, well, they probably used to be a big guy that would sit on the trailer and yell, pull, man, while I sleep. That's how. That kind of thing.
Okay. Anyway, the winner is Mike from Marshfield. And Mike, if you'll stay on the line forever. And we're never going to answer that line ever again. So, no, I'll turn you over to Tom Howie and he'll take your name and address and we'll send you the junk. I'm so glad to get rid of a lot of other stuff here. That's really nice.
Anyway, thank you for playing, Mike, and I appreciate that. Skip out there in Michigan.
Now, thank you very much for being part of this. Thanks for one quick question. Sure. Last summer you were supposed to go see Steely Dan. Did you do it? Yes. Was it good? Yes, it was good. I've been. I've been a Steely Dan fan for a long time. Me too. I tried to get tickets up Here they played and I couldn't and couldn't. I never heard. You said you were going. I heard you and then. Yeah, I never heard anything about it. Yeah, they played down in Mansfield at the place called Great Woods. And my oldest daughter is a.
I can't remember whether it's a Father's Day gift or something. Got a couple of tickets. But I'd been a fan of of them since the Asia album and a lot of the other things. That was one of the few times they'd ever toured. Yeah, well, they were. They're awesome. I think they are too. I. I really enjoyed them a lot. The only. The only problem I had, I found that after about an hour and a half of them, this stuff all sound begin to sound alike a little bit. But I mean musician from a viewpoint of musicianship, I thought they were just fine. And I did enjoy it a lot. I hope they get to Michigan. I don't know. We're getting some funny noises. Skip. Thanks a lot.
Or maybe that skip we lost somewhere along the line anyway. And I think I just lost Andy too.
Oh, and Andy was the one who hung up on us and somehow we lost the skip. But Jack. Yes. When all is said and done, you're the only one that keeps hanging in there. And we can always depend on you. Therefore.
Anyway, thanks a lot. Thank you. Okay. You have another report coming up in a few minutes. You bet it. You. You were talking about Stero Drive. Like I'm. I. When I was coming in. I obviously I was not going to take Steroid drive or, or Memorial Drive. I came in through the pike and around the back. Sure, sure way there. But one of the. One of the areas was closed. Was that until recently or still closed? Well, Stellar Drive of course shuts down every year for the whole concert and such like that. And then the biggest part of that whole day is the cleanup. Tons and tons and tons of.
Of stuff.
You could do a whole new birthday game thing. There was a. But. Yeah, they had it closed down while they were cleaning up. And according to local authorities that was to be open completely by 3:30. And they had a bunch of. They had some inmates from one of the nearby prisons who, Who'd come. Apparently they. They clean up each year. Is that right? Yeah. I did not know that. Yeah, that is correct. Yeah. Oh yeah. I'm not afraid they're gonna like jump in the. In Charles and like swim to like swim to freedom. Yeah.
You could really. You could really get away swimming in the Charles. Anyway, thank you very much, Jack. And we'll be looking for your next report. You betcha. Oh, thank you.
[00:48:48] Speaker A: Okay, we had just a mere five episodes from number 300.
If you've been enjoying all this content, whether you have been here since episode one just discovered us or are binging a bunch of shows at a time, I thank you. I just humbly ask for your support through Patreon. Buy me a coffee or Kastos. All the links are below. There are perks once you join, so take a moment and peruse the options.
This here producer would truly appreciate that. See you again next week. Closing the vault and leaving this world a little sillier than we found it. 4 A lethargic, pitiful teen canteen. The new enormous hanger sized, super plush WBZ Studios Gatorade and Ovaltine spritzers.
Incorrigibility, nervous titter. Shaving with a mug and a brush, which sounds kind of difficult. Rough and chiseled. Features Schick razors. My personal favorite.
Shaving induced anemia. The Henry Morgan razor blade commercial story. Eversharp Schick injector razors. That old dusty notebook from Norm's Hungarian gypsy princess grandmother. How the hell are ya? Pinching cheeks. Buster Brown shoes.
Knickers. The 45th parallel on Lake Huron. Mackinac Island. Fudge. Good Panucci caring more about you.
The giant dumb birthday game scoreboard on Soldiers Field Road. Jack laying down the gauntlet to his fellow panel members. Teeny weeny women with sexual tendencies going through the process allowed Festivals.
Norm's baseball announcing prowess. Junkie prizes. Oncoming crescendos. Corporate radio buyouts being judged on your merit.
Gee, what a novel idea.
Humming a tune. The Salvation Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines and Coast Guard temperance meetings. The psychic network calling four on one. Otherwise known as information.
Steely Dan. The post 4th of July cleanup on the Esplanade. Tom Howey, Jack hart and that 90s kind of guy. Norm Nathan, this is your offstage announcer, Tony Nesbitt.
[00:51:07] Speaker B: She sounds like the kind of woman I'd love to meet. And I must meet because I'm hungry for that kind of woman.
Heavens knows, a teeny woman with sensuality.
