Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: I thought we'd close out the month of independence with a dumb birthday game from July 4, 1996. Our title, Googly Eyed Giggles.
Not only do we get chortling laughter from Norm, but also a couple of sage sayings from the one and only Hungarian gypsy princess grandmother, Jack Hart, Penny and Malden Bob from Brockton, Ethel in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. And and Mike Epstein producing and playing in studio and briefly off mic, the birthdays Geraldo Rivera, Eva Marie St. Abigail Van Buren and Ann Landers. Because, you know, they're twins.
Gina, Lola, Brigida, Neil Simon, George Steinbrenner and Mitch Miller. Episode 246, Googly Eyed Giggles rattles its way to your ears.
[00:00:54] Speaker B: Now, the dumb birthday game. And I'm just so darn excited about it. Thank you so much. There's one, a very exciting person who's playing that, of course, will be Jack Hart. Hi. Hi.
[00:01:06] Speaker C: I'm a political gadfly.
[00:01:07] Speaker B: Yeah, you. You're really something.
I mean, to have you playing the dumb birthday game with us, especially on a day when usually I'm not even here on a Wednesday. On a. Well, Thursday morning actually right now. Yeah, I'm really excited about that.
[00:01:23] Speaker C: And this is like a time warp thing.
[00:01:26] Speaker B: Like a. Hold on, hold on a minute. Let me check.
Yeah, it says so here in the copy. It says it's a time warp thing.
[00:01:35] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:01:35] Speaker B: I don't know exactly what that means in regard to what we're playing, but of course, as you know. Why don't you state the rules for. For this and what the point of the dumb birthday game is, assuming there is a point. And if you question whether there is a point at all, I understand that too.
[00:01:53] Speaker C: The point of the game is to make the world a little sillier, but it's actually to. To. To guess the ages of those celebrities and noted persons alive who are alive whose birthday it is this coming day. And.
And those who come closest get the point.
And those who gain the most points when of course, the fabulous tacky and ends well, a junkie prize.
[00:02:21] Speaker B: Son of a. And you know the whole. You know all the rules.
There's no putting anything over in you, Jack.
[00:02:26] Speaker C: Oh, no.
[00:02:27] Speaker B: Oh, yes. And that's true.
[00:02:29] Speaker C: You.
[00:02:29] Speaker B: You do win some tasteless and valueless prizes and, and that kind of stuff. Okay, let me introduce the other members of the panel. And we have Penny, who's in Malden. Hi, Penny. Morning.
Good morning, Penny. You sound somewhat subdued.
I don't know why I expected you to come on and say hi. This is Penny from Alden Here, fur baby.
[00:02:54] Speaker D: Well, I'm excited about the dumb birthday game.
[00:02:56] Speaker B: Oh, you're all excited and you're a little nervous maybe or something.
[00:03:00] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:03:00] Speaker B: Although you don't really have to be because you sound fine and I know you'll do swell. And even if anybody who doesn't win, the point is that we just like to have a lot of fun.
[00:03:10] Speaker D: Right?
[00:03:10] Speaker C: Well, we can understand how people would get get nervous in front of them that. You know the estimated 50 million.
[00:03:19] Speaker B: With.
[00:03:19] Speaker D: 50,000 watts of power.
[00:03:21] Speaker B: Yeah, that's right. Over 38 states, Canada and all that kind of stuff. I don't know. I have no idea how many people they estimate would be listening at this time. I would say close to three or four dozen.
[00:03:34] Speaker C: Anyway, I think it's in the millions.
[00:03:36] Speaker B: Do you think it's in the millions? Well, now I'm getting nervous.
[00:03:39] Speaker C: Well, they say that you get to 1% of all. Less than 1% of all callers are listening. So roughly how many calls do you take in the course of a night in the. Then multiply that by 100%.
[00:03:53] Speaker B: Okay. I would say 700 trillion d zillion the million d listeners. D billion d zillion. I say that's how many we have. And that's a scientific fact.
[00:04:04] Speaker D: I wasn't nervous till you said that.
[00:04:07] Speaker B: Oh, I see.
Okay. When I was a kid I grew up in Everett and we used to go to Malden because that's where the. That's. We figured that's where there were a lot of really good looking girls there.
[00:04:18] Speaker D: There still are.
[00:04:19] Speaker B: There still are. Is that, is that so?
Guys from Everett, growing up in Everett, they. They still go to Malden to get the hot dates, do they?
[00:04:28] Speaker D: Oh, I don't know. But there's still a lot of good.
[00:04:30] Speaker E: Looking girls in Malden.
[00:04:31] Speaker B: Yeah. Are you one of them? Of course I'm excited. Oh, I'm starting. I'm starting to break out into a rash.
[00:04:37] Speaker C: Now. Where did the guy from guys from Malden go to pick up their chicks?
[00:04:40] Speaker B: They probably came to Medford maybe. They might have gone to Medford, you know what I mean? Some really good just go to Medford Square right near the city hall.
Oh, some good looking broads down there growing trees. Yeah, that's right. Anyway, we're glad to have you, Penny. And also to have Bob who's down in Brockton. How you doing, Bob?
[00:05:05] Speaker C: How you doing?
[00:05:07] Speaker B: I just asked you the very same question. How nice of you to care enough for me to. To ask me the same question. But let me ask you again. How you doing, Bob? Fine. Okay, that's good.
That settles that.
Okay. What are you doing up at this time of the morning? Do you. You going to be setting out some firecrackers or anything? No, I'm working.
Oh, you're at work right now? Yes. Okay, because I was trying to trap you. Because if you were going to set out firecrackers, they're not legal in this state. We were going to trace the call and send the police after you. It's kind of funny because you can go up to New Hampshire and buy firecrackers and that kind of stuff, but I don't. But you have to live out of state. I don't think they can sell them, the people who live in New Hampshire. But if you buy them from Massachusetts, you can't set them off here. There's kind of some strange laws going on on this day.
And let's go to Ethel. Speaking of New Hampshire. Ethel was up in New Hampshire. Hi, Ethel.
[00:06:06] Speaker D: Good morning.
[00:06:08] Speaker B: Good morning. Where in New Hampshire are you?
[00:06:09] Speaker D: I'm in Portsmouth.
[00:06:11] Speaker B: Portsmouth, one of. I. Well, you know, one of my favorite cities.
[00:06:14] Speaker D: I sure do.
[00:06:16] Speaker B: Okay. Well, that's good. Can you buy. Can you buy your fireworks in. In New Hampshire if you're a New Hampshire person?
[00:06:23] Speaker D: I've never been able to try to get them.
I heard you can't.
[00:06:28] Speaker B: I don't think you can if you're. If you're a.
If you're a resident of New Hampshire.
[00:06:33] Speaker C: Right.
[00:06:33] Speaker B: And yet if you're a resident of Massachusetts. I guess I'm going through the same thing again because I'm old and boring.
[00:06:40] Speaker D: No, you're not.
[00:06:41] Speaker B: No. Thank you very much. If you buy them in New Hampshire and you live in Massachusetts, that is, you can buy them if you don't live there, but you can't set them off here. I don't know where fireworks are legal.
Do they come, like, from Utah? They come to New Hampshire?
[00:06:58] Speaker D: I really don't know where they come from, but I know they have them and they shoot them off here, too.
[00:07:04] Speaker B: Oh, that's. That's. Oh, my goodness.
[00:07:07] Speaker D: They get caught.
[00:07:07] Speaker B: Well, that's bad. Oh, that's. That's breaking the law.
[00:07:11] Speaker D: Well, that's their problem.
[00:07:12] Speaker B: Huh? Oh, yeah. I want to introduce, also as a member of the panel, of course, will be Mike Epstein, who's a WBZ producer person.
Okay, here he comes now.
And he said he's.
You'll find a microphone right underneath.
Right in the wastebasket. Yes.
Okay. Are you. I don't think you're on.
[00:07:34] Speaker E: Yes, Am I on?
[00:07:36] Speaker B: No, you're not on.
No. I don't know quite how to put you on either.
[00:07:40] Speaker E: How about now?
[00:07:41] Speaker B: Yes, you are on now. You know what?
[00:07:43] Speaker E: I just pressed this little button that says on.
[00:07:46] Speaker B: Oh, that's the way it's done. How ingenious you Americans are.
I think that's remarkable. Okay. We have a lot of fascinating people who are born on the fourth of July.
And we discovered earlier, thanks to somebody who asked that George M. Cohan, and I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy, actually was not born on the 4th of July. He was born on the 3rd of July.
[00:08:11] Speaker C: Well, maybe like so many communities around the Commonwealth, they were celebrating that day.
[00:08:17] Speaker B: Might have been. And he might have been born so long ago that the calendar changed and the fourth became the third. You know, the St. Gregory's calendar or something like that.
[00:08:26] Speaker C: Just before Pope Gregory.
[00:08:28] Speaker B: Pope Gregory, that's correct. Geraldo Rivera was born on the 4th of July.
Do you know that this is also Nude Recreation Week?
[00:08:38] Speaker E: Excellent.
[00:08:40] Speaker B: You like the idea?
[00:08:42] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:08:43] Speaker B: Hello.
Let's.
Let me take my clothes off and you'll think twice about that remark.
[00:08:50] Speaker C: You know, that's the funniest thing. I've been sitting here naked all night.
[00:08:54] Speaker B: And you didn't even know was new Nude Recreation Week.
[00:08:58] Speaker C: I just thinking not too long ago, you know, there should be a whole week for just being naked and having fun.
[00:09:05] Speaker B: Oh, that is just so darn nice.
Okay, anyway, Geraldo Rivera, who's the TV talk show host, and I think he's trying to make his program a little more legit now. He's.
He's going after more serious issues, and he's got a nighttime thing on CNN and stuff.
[00:09:21] Speaker E: CNN or cnbc?
[00:09:24] Speaker B: I guess it's cnbc. I think you're absolutely right. Cnbc. And he gets very serious and he takes his glasses off. And maybe he doesn't wear glasses. I don't know. Anyway, today's his birthday. How old do you suppose Geraldo Rivera is?
I'm still not sure about this, but people say his real name was Jerry Rivers at home.
[00:09:45] Speaker E: I was about to mention that.
[00:09:46] Speaker B: Yes, it absolutely is. It is. Yeah. And he changed it. He wanted to be a little fancier. Yeah. So he got to be Geraldo Rivera.
Yes. Okay, Penny, how old do you think Geraldo Rivera is?
[00:10:01] Speaker D: I'm gonna guess 53.
[00:10:05] Speaker B: 53 is what you're going to guess.
Okay.
And Bob, what do you say?
47. 47. Bob says 47. And what do you say, Ethel?
[00:10:17] Speaker D: I'm gonna say 55.
[00:10:18] Speaker B: 55.
Okay. What do you think, Mike?
[00:10:23] Speaker E: I was gonna say 55. And. Yeah, what the heck? I'll stick with it.
[00:10:27] Speaker B: Stick with 55.
Okay. Hey.
[00:10:31] Speaker E: Hey.
[00:10:32] Speaker B: That's how the Panama Canal was built.
I can't remember exactly what the connection is here, but somebody once said, stick with it. And that's how the Panama Canal, I think it was my Hungarian gypsy, she said, show me a man who sticks with it, who, despite opposition, despite different thoughts that come, dispelling what he is, apparently dispelling what he has said, despite the fact that. That. Show me a man who can stick with his own convictions no matter what. No matter what the weather is.
And I will show you.
I forget what it was. She.
[00:11:11] Speaker C: Canal was. Was built.
[00:11:13] Speaker B: No, she was. She was going to show me, I think she said, and I'll show you a box of bird's eye frozen peas.
I think that's what she said, if I can quote her exactly. It was so beautiful. I don't want to misquote.
[00:11:27] Speaker C: She doesn't have a copyright on any of this, does she?
Oh, yeah.
[00:11:31] Speaker B: I don't know. So, in fact, she had a thing about copyrights, too.
Show me a man who takes enough of his material to copyright it, to keep it from sneaking into alien hands.
Show me that kind of a man who is determined to be an original despite all the frauds around him. Show me that kind of a man and you'll have a president, and I will show you.
Will you stop that? Don't give me political junk. And I will show you a Yamulke.
I think that's what she said.
With a little fringe on top, I believe was the way that propeller.
Anyway, Jack, how old do you think Geraldo Rivera is on this very day, July 4th?
[00:12:19] Speaker C: Geraldo Rivera.
[00:12:21] Speaker B: Geraldo Rivera.
Raul Rivera with the goo goo googly eyes.
[00:12:35] Speaker C: Did you ever see Geraldo go this way and that way?
Geraldo Rivera, attorney at law, by the way.
[00:12:42] Speaker B: Yes, he is an attorney. And one thing that people will never forget, as I recall, the opening of the Al Capone wall. Remember that?
And. And there was nothing there.
[00:12:57] Speaker E: The look in his face was priceless. It's like, what do we do now?
[00:13:00] Speaker C: I believe he coined the phrase.
[00:13:04] Speaker B: That's exactly right.
[00:13:08] Speaker C: I will say that he's 53.
[00:13:10] Speaker B: 53, okay.
That's exactly right. You and Penny both said 53.
[00:13:17] Speaker D: Very good.
[00:13:18] Speaker B: And Geraldo river is 53. The rest of you are very close also.
How about Eva Marie Saint, who I think is. I was a class act. The actress.
She. She won an Oscar for supporting actress. In 1954. Remember these dates now because that'll help you kind of get close to her age.
She won A in 1954 for on the Waterfront with Marlon Brando. Also in A Year in the Life. I remember that one. I do remember her for the Russians Are Coming. The Russians are Coming.
Remember that when she was married to Carl, the character that Carl Reiner played.
And they were vacationing supposedly on a. Cape Cod is one of the islands off Cape Cod, except it was off California, but it looked like Cape Cod.
And anyways, it was a funny movie.
And today is Eva Marie Saint's birthday. What do you think, Jack? How old do you think she is?
[00:14:18] Speaker C: She could have been a contender.
[00:14:19] Speaker B: She could have been one way Ticket to Polo cover.
That sounded more like Donald Darry, I think, than whoever you were intending that to be.
[00:14:34] Speaker C: It could have been a contender. Could have been. It could have been Popeye the Sailor.
[00:14:38] Speaker B: Oh my God, that's right.
That said, that's a remake.
That's a remake of the Old Island Waterfront with Jackie Mason playing the airplane. Tomorrow.
[00:14:53] Speaker C: We get the one way to get the beluga film.
[00:14:57] Speaker B: Just hold it back, Jack. It's spitting all over everybody.
Okay, Eva Marie said, how old do you think she is? Eva Marie said.
[00:15:09] Speaker C: See, that's 42 years ago. Let's say she was 22 at the time.
That would make her send in a little one pinch for good measure. 65.
[00:15:22] Speaker B: 65 years old for Eve Marie Saint. That's Jack Hart's guess. And Mike Epstein. What do you think?
[00:15:29] Speaker E: Oh, basing everything that I'm going to guess on Jack's math.
I'm going to say when I had a couple of years. 67.
[00:15:39] Speaker B: 67, okay. And what do you think, Ethel?
[00:15:44] Speaker D: I'm gonna say 64.
[00:15:47] Speaker B: 64. Okay. I have a sister in law named Ethel and she lives in New Hampshire too. Is that it? Isn't that interesting?
[00:15:55] Speaker C: Are you Norm's sister?
[00:15:57] Speaker D: No.
[00:16:00] Speaker B: Okay, now, because if she were not mine, my sister, she was. Would have been my. She was my wife's sister. She my sister in law. Right. And if, if you were that same Ethel, you wouldn't be listening now. I don't think Ethel's ever heard me on the air ever.
Oh, she's missing a lot. What? Pardon me?
[00:16:16] Speaker D: She's missing a lot.
[00:16:17] Speaker B: Well, you tell her I'll give you her phone number, you give her a call. Okay, I see. I. You know, I can't seem to convince her of that at all.
Okay. Anyway, Bob, what do you think? How old is my, my Sister in law Ethel, or you can guess, Eva Marie. Say whichever comes first.
[00:16:38] Speaker C: I'll say 66.
[00:16:39] Speaker B: 66.
Anybody who knows my sister in law, Ethel, who's listening, if you'd call her up, tell her that you're listening and why doesn't she do the same thing once in a while?
Thank you, Penny. What do you think?
[00:16:54] Speaker D: Yes, I was also going to say 64.
[00:16:56] Speaker B: 64, okay. You're all very flattering to Eva Marie Saint. She's actually 72 years old today. Yes, 72.
So the closest actually was Mike, who said 67. All the rest of you were in that general area, but 67 was the closer one, the five years off.
How about the twins? Abigail Van Buren and Ann Landers, as we call them. The Love Torn. No, Lovelorn, I guess. Columbus. They're twins.
Abigail Van Buren and Ann Landers.
They were born Pauline Esther Friedman and Esther Pauline Friedman. Did you know that? Those were their names.
[00:17:46] Speaker C: Popo, I believe, were their nicknames.
[00:17:49] Speaker B: Is that right? They were born in Sioux City, Iowa, and then they both went to the same dentist so they could get their.
That's right. They do spit a lot when they talk.
They were known as the Spit Spray twins, as I recall. Something of that nature, which was kind of tough on dates, except they got into the habit of looking the other way when they were. When they were talking love tones to their fiance's.
[00:18:16] Speaker C: Yes, it was nice. What do you want to do for when you get older?
[00:18:20] Speaker B: Well, I want to answer questions in the newspaper.
Okay. Oh, sis, that's all right. Will you stop? Just stop. Sorry.
Their columns appear in over 1000 newspapers. That's why your newspaper. Did you get your newspaper today? Did you feel it was kind of damp? That's the reason.
Around the United States claiming a readership of 70 million each.
70 million each?
[00:19:00] Speaker C: What?
[00:19:03] Speaker B: For each of the two twin sisters, I guess. Yeah. Okay. Abigail Dear Abby and Ann Landers.
How old would they be? Ethel, let me start with you. What do you think?
[00:19:16] Speaker D: Oh, I knew you were asking me first.
[00:19:18] Speaker B: Did you know that?
[00:19:19] Speaker D: Yes, I did.
[00:19:20] Speaker B: We must have we on the same wavelength or something. There must be something psychic here.
[00:19:26] Speaker D: Well, I'm always losing, so I'm just gonna say they're probably 72.
[00:19:35] Speaker B: 72? Yeah. Okay.
You sound like you were doing an imitation of them there for a little bit of hearing.
[00:19:43] Speaker C: Wrong.
[00:19:46] Speaker B: Day.
Everybody wants to. Wants to look like David Letterman with a missing. Well, never mind. That doesn't make any sense at all. Bob, what do you think? How old are they?
[00:19:58] Speaker C: 73.
[00:19:59] Speaker B: 73.
Okay. And Mike?
[00:20:04] Speaker E: 77.
[00:20:05] Speaker B: 77.
Penny, what do you think?
[00:20:10] Speaker D: 68.
[00:20:11] Speaker B: 68 says Penny and Jack. I'd say 77 also.
77 is very close. They're actually 78.
They're 78 years old as of today. So that would make a Jack and Mike, who. Both of whom said 77.
[00:20:34] Speaker C: The.
[00:20:34] Speaker B: The winners of those that round. So we have Jack with two, Mike with two, and Penny with one.
So it's. It's a wide open ball game.
And just sit down. Exciting. I'm getting my goose pimples. Easy.
[00:20:49] Speaker E: Now.
[00:20:50] Speaker B: How about the Gina Lola Brigida.
A very attractive lady actress. Photographers. You put up several books on photographs. Mostly of me in the nude.
[00:21:01] Speaker C: This is the week for it.
[00:21:02] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. Big sellers, especially around Palermo and Siciliana. Anyway, in. She's been in film since 1947, including Solomon and Sheba, Strange Bedfellows and Come September.
I don't think I've seen any of those or even heard of them. One. One that she was in was a funny travel movie. Was if it's Tuesday, this must be Belgium. You remember that one?
[00:21:34] Speaker E: No.
[00:21:35] Speaker B: About a tour of one of these travel tours where they, you know, you spend about four minutes in one country, then you go to another country. So the title is if it's Tuesday, we must be in Belgium or something like that. People couldn't figure out where they were. But an extremely beautiful lady and still writes me really hot letters. I'm just so glad about that. I've got them pasted in my tear stained scrapbook of memories next to my picture of Deanna Durbin and Sharon Stone. Oh, good. Yeah.
Anyway, how old.
Let's start with you, Bob. What do you think? Gina Lola Brigida.
[00:22:19] Speaker C: 69.
[00:22:21] Speaker B: 69.
You know what, you know what Lola Brigida means in English?
When any of you know that Duck Short Overpass?
It's. It's like that. It's. Yeah, it's low bridges.
Low bridges is very good. Yeah.
Tell you the truth, I don't know what the answer is. It may not mean anything.
Yeah, I was trying to think of like lollipops that you eat on bridges, but that seems so stup that I kind of backed away from that.
[00:22:52] Speaker D: Oh, whatever. Lola was Lola kids.
[00:22:55] Speaker B: Hey. Including a bridge.
Yeah.
[00:22:58] Speaker C: She showed up on the Flintstones as Gina Loda Bricks.
[00:23:03] Speaker B: Was there a character on that with that name?
[00:23:06] Speaker C: Yeah, Gina Lodobricks.
[00:23:09] Speaker B: Mike, what do you say? How old do you think? Gina. Lola Bridge.
[00:23:13] Speaker E: How long has she been in films? Or when was the first.
[00:23:15] Speaker B: The. The first. The first. Yeah. The first thing was 1947. 47. 47. That would be 49 years ago. 1947, yeah. Subtracted from 1996, that's 49 years ago.
49 years ago, yeah.
[00:23:36] Speaker E: At least.
At least 20 years out of that.
[00:23:41] Speaker B: Yeah.
Round that up to 50 if it'll, you know, help you.
[00:23:45] Speaker E: Nope, nope, nope.
[00:23:46] Speaker C: No, no.
[00:23:46] Speaker B: You want 49?
[00:23:48] Speaker E: We have to be exact. Because being off by even one year, it might mean the difference between winning and not winning.
[00:23:53] Speaker B: Losing, that would be a terrible thing.
You're a real champion, you know that?
[00:23:59] Speaker E: Thank you.
[00:23:59] Speaker B: You're a real pedigreed thoroughbred or something.
[00:24:03] Speaker C: If NASA was to round things up, then we never would have reached the moon.
[00:24:07] Speaker B: That's right. They would have missed it by just missing it by. By, like, a half a mile. Half a mile, yeah. They'd be off somewhere, someplace clear.
[00:24:15] Speaker C: The other side.
[00:24:16] Speaker B: Yeah.
So what do you think?
[00:24:18] Speaker E: I think that she's 70 years old.
[00:24:22] Speaker B: 70 years old. Okay. And Penny, what do you think?
[00:24:26] Speaker D: I'm saying 65.
[00:24:29] Speaker B: Penny says 65. What do you say, Jack?
[00:24:32] Speaker C: I think is.
[00:24:32] Speaker B: Maybe she's a 72. 72.
[00:24:38] Speaker C: That's all right.
[00:24:38] Speaker B: Say Santa or Satante. That'd be Satante due.
[00:24:47] Speaker C: Yeah, that's what I'm gonna think.
[00:24:53] Speaker B: And she built nicely like a Brigida.
We had a San Italian Romanon fufate in giorno which has nothing whatever to do. Nothing whatever to do with her age.
[00:25:09] Speaker D: But.
[00:25:12] Speaker E: Hey, wait a minute. We're listening in a private conversation.
[00:25:14] Speaker B: This is nice. Yeah.
[00:25:15] Speaker E: This private conversation.
[00:25:18] Speaker D: She's on the telephone.
Penny? Oh, I'm here.
[00:25:23] Speaker B: Ethel. What do you. Is this, Ethel?
[00:25:26] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:25:26] Speaker B: Who's that? Who's that? You were just talking to?
[00:25:28] Speaker D: My husband. Want to know who Penny was.
[00:25:30] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Oh. Oh, I see.
[00:25:33] Speaker D: Do I know him?
[00:25:34] Speaker B: He's not. He's not.
He doesn't mind the fact that you're on the phone now. That had nothing to do with it. He wanted to know who this other woman was.
[00:25:42] Speaker C: Who the chick is on the phone.
[00:25:43] Speaker B: Yeah, he said, who. The chick there. Where can I get with her? She must be from Malden. Now, we used to go out with girls from Alden when I lived in Everett. He's probably saying, anyway, Ethel, how old do you think Gina, Lola, Bridget is?
[00:25:57] Speaker D: I'm gonna say 72.
[00:26:01] Speaker B: 72. Well, the answer is 68.
[00:26:03] Speaker D: Oh, God.
[00:26:07] Speaker B: Okay, so Bob. Bob said 69, and nobody said 67, so Bob wins that round.
Oh, good. So we have two apiece from Mike and Jack and one apiece from Penny.
[00:26:21] Speaker D: Nothing for raffle.
[00:26:22] Speaker B: And Bob. And nothing for Ethel.
Oh, that's so sad.
[00:26:26] Speaker D: No, it's okay.
[00:26:28] Speaker B: No, it's not okay. Let's put. Get yourself together. Would you do something?
[00:26:32] Speaker E: Tell you what, why doesn't she get her thoughts together and her mathematical figures together while we take a very quick break, if you don't mind.
[00:26:41] Speaker B: Okay. That'd be a good idea, Nathan. President of the United States of America.
I just thought I'd try that out, see how it sounds. It sounds stupid.
[00:26:51] Speaker D: Cut off.
[00:26:53] Speaker B: Yes. No, you weren't cut off. Really. What happened was we. We had the commercials on, so we kind of lowered the volume from you and stuff. So don't be would talk over the commercial. Oh, it's a technical thing that I learned in the Orient in 1936.
I also learned how to cloud men's minds so they could not see me.
And that's why they call me the Shadow.
[00:27:20] Speaker D: Oh, I've seen you.
[00:27:23] Speaker B: You've seen me? Yeah. And I thought I was clouding your mind. I was just kidding myself, wasn't I?
[00:27:29] Speaker D: Right.
[00:27:30] Speaker B: You pretended that. That you could not see me, but all the time you could. I've seen you, you devil.
[00:27:36] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:27:36] Speaker B: Okay, let's get back to the swell game here, the what is known as the dumb birthday game.
Neil Simon was born on the 4th of July. Also the comedy playwright born Marvin Neil Simon in the Bronx, New York. His Broadway success has been remarkable with shows including the Odd Couple, the Sunshine Boys, the Goodbye Girl, Biloxi Blues, Brighton Beach Memoirs, Lost in Yonkers.
Isn't that amazing? Amazing output of musical, of not musicals, but of comedies.
Oh, woo hoo. To say the least.
Was that you, Jack, saying woo hoo?
[00:28:20] Speaker C: Yes. With a life like that, he could, you know, so many things because so many of these things have been taken from his own personal experiences. And so many things have happened that for him to write about, he could be literally be hundreds of years old with all those things happening in his life.
[00:28:35] Speaker B: That's right. So therefore what you're suggesting is it would be hard to guess his age. Would that turnout?
Yeah. You wonder how a man under the age 150 could have turned out that many plays.
A successful place. Almost every single one of them.
[00:28:51] Speaker C: Well, to have had the experiences in his life to. To be able to write the plays.
[00:28:57] Speaker B: That's right too. Because they were based upon life's experiences for him. That's true.
[00:29:02] Speaker C: So first he had the experiences, long stretch of time, then he wrote the plays. Long stretch of time.
[00:29:08] Speaker B: Oh. Oh, Jack.
[00:29:10] Speaker C: Yeah, shut up.
[00:29:13] Speaker B: Okay, Neil Simon, let's start with you, Mike. What do you think? How old is Mike? Mike.
Neil Simon on this very day.
[00:29:23] Speaker E: Do you happen to know when his first. His first play?
[00:29:26] Speaker B: No, I don't have any. No, I actually don't have any dates at all. I don't know whether Jack knows, but then again, if he does, he should not share it with you because he wants to win.
[00:29:35] Speaker C: Well, of course, you got to remember that that Biloxi Blues was about his time in the service in World War II. Or two. And Brighton Beach Memoirs, like just after the major portion of the Depression.
[00:29:49] Speaker B: That's correct. Yes.
[00:29:51] Speaker E: Okay, very good.
[00:29:55] Speaker B: Okay, he's 22.
All right, let's see.
Neil Simon with a goo goo. Googly eyes.
[00:30:06] Speaker E: I'm gonna say he's what, 68.
[00:30:10] Speaker B: 68.
Okay. And what do you think, Bob? Oh, I'll try 67. 67.
Okay. Penny. What? How old do you think Neil Simon is today?
[00:30:23] Speaker D: I would say 72.
[00:30:29] Speaker B: 72.
Okay. And Ethel? Yeah.
[00:30:37] Speaker D: 71.
[00:30:38] Speaker B: 71 says Ethel. And what does Jack say?
[00:30:41] Speaker C: I'm thinking 71.
[00:30:42] Speaker B: 71. Also 69 is the age. Let me see. So let me see. 69. That was so. Bob, who said 67 was two years off?
Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. I'm sorry. That's wrong. That's right.
Mike said 68, so he was one year off.
No, Mike was the closest. Nobody said 70, so Mike has won that round. That's right. 68. That's three correct answers for my. That's okay. Yeah.
Two for Jack. I'm sorry, Bob. You came close. That's okay.
Okay.
Bob and Penny both have one apiece. Ethel, come on now.
[00:31:26] Speaker D: I'm trying.
[00:31:28] Speaker B: Okay, as long as you're trying.
Try was never beaten, as my neighbor Tom Bright used to say. How about George Steinbrenner, New York Yankee owner, born in Rocky river, Ohio. In 1990, he was punished for paying gambler Howard Spira for information to discredit former Yankee outfielder Dave Winfield.
He returned to his duties as managing partner of the New York Yankees in 1993.
He seems to be probably next to that woman from Cincinnati the most.
[00:32:06] Speaker E: Marge shot.
[00:32:07] Speaker B: Yeah, Mark shot the most disliked person in all of baseball next to maybe Myron Boscowitz, who didn't quite make the St. Louis Cardinals in 1936.
Okay, how old is George Steinbrenner?
Let's start with you, Jack. What do you think?
[00:32:26] Speaker C: George Steinbrenner.
[00:32:27] Speaker B: George Steinbrenner.
[00:32:30] Speaker C: Ah, these sports people.
[00:32:33] Speaker B: How to recognize that? Especially the ones who don't actually play but sit in front of offices and say agonizing things.
You know, it's hard to tell.
[00:32:43] Speaker C: How old would you have to be to say agonizing things?
[00:32:47] Speaker B: Yeah, let's see. How old was my father in law?
[00:32:51] Speaker D: Let's see.
[00:32:52] Speaker B: That'll be a clue right there.
[00:32:55] Speaker C: I would have to say that he's got to be.
[00:32:58] Speaker B: He's the father of my father in law. Is the father of my.
My sister in law. Ethel, I just want to put my entire family in perspective for you. I see. Yeah, you could call him, except he's dead.
Died at the age of 98. So it's, you know, wasn't unexpected.
[00:33:22] Speaker C: Live long enough just to be really aggravating.
[00:33:24] Speaker B: Just. Yeah, just 98 years of really aggravating people. That's why he lived so long.
A mission in life, and that was to be obnoxious.
I couldn't die until I obnoxious and nauseate millions and millions of people, he said.
Anyway, Jack, what do you think? George Steinbrenner sounds like the same kind of guy.
[00:33:48] Speaker C: All right, let's say that he is 70.
[00:33:52] Speaker B: 79. 79. And Mike, what do you think?
[00:33:58] Speaker E: I think he's a bit younger than that. I don't know how much younger, but he's younger.
[00:34:03] Speaker B: That's the clue, though, to figure out how much younger.
Assuming he is younger. He could be older. I suppose, too.
[00:34:10] Speaker E: He could very easily be older.
[00:34:13] Speaker B: Yeah, he could be older. He could be younger. He could have a table near the window.
Could have his peas served with the chicken. Could be away from the chicken. A separate plate. Could be.
I'm sorry. I'll be quiet.
[00:34:29] Speaker E: Don't apologize, please.
[00:34:30] Speaker D: I won't be able to talk.
[00:34:33] Speaker E: All right. I'm thinking. I just saw a picture of him in, like, the USA Today or something, and he didn't look all that old.
I'm gonna say 59.
[00:34:47] Speaker B: 59, okay. Ethel, what do you think?
[00:34:51] Speaker D: I'm gonna go with 59, too.
[00:34:53] Speaker B: 59 also. And Bob? What? What do you think?
[00:34:57] Speaker C: 78.
[00:34:58] Speaker B: 78 and a penny.
[00:35:01] Speaker D: Wow. I never heard of them.
[00:35:04] Speaker B: George Steinbrenner.
[00:35:05] Speaker D: I never did either.
[00:35:06] Speaker B: You never. Neither of you. Penny Russell has heard of George, and.
[00:35:10] Speaker D: The ages are varying so much, I'm gonna go somewhere in the middle. I'll say 65.
[00:35:16] Speaker B: 65 is the closest.
He's 66.
Isn't that amazing?
You are now tied with Mike with three apiece. We better get into one more so he can break the time. Mitch Miller.
[00:35:31] Speaker D: I think I only had one before. Did I have two?
[00:35:35] Speaker B: Yeah, you're right. You had two.
Yeah. No, I'm sorry.
[00:35:39] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:35:40] Speaker B: Mike is still leading with three and two apiece from Jack and Penny.
And that's it. And Mike, Bob has one and Ethel? Nothing.
Okay, how about Mitch Miller? This has to be the last one. We better get through this quickly because we don't have too much time. Mitch Miller, I don't have any too much information about him. He's been around for a while. He was A and R guy, that is, he arranged artisan repertoires for Columbia Records. He gave Sinatra some really lousy songs that just about almost destroyed his career back in the 50s. About the time he did From Here to Eternity and. And then came back again. Now, that is Sinatra.
He did the sing along stuff, all that. Anyway, Penny, how old do you think Mitch Miller is today?
[00:36:34] Speaker D: Well, I thought he looked old when I was young, so I'll say 78.
[00:36:40] Speaker B: 78. And Bob, I'll try 80.
What do you think, Ethel?
[00:36:45] Speaker D: 80.
[00:36:46] Speaker B: And Mike?
[00:36:47] Speaker E: 85.
[00:36:48] Speaker B: And Jack?
[00:36:50] Speaker C: 83.
[00:36:51] Speaker B: Mike. Mike absolutely sews this whole thing up because he is exactly 85.
And Mike is the. Mike is the winner. Very good, Mike. Excellent, excellent. I want to thank all the rest of you for playing the game. You're okay, but petty. Thank you, thank you. And thank you also, Bob. I appreciate you coming on with us. Oh, thank you. Okay.
[00:37:12] Speaker D: Ethel, it's always a pleasure.
[00:37:14] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:37:15] Speaker D: Norm.
[00:37:16] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:37:18] Speaker D: Even though I didn't win any useless prizes.
[00:37:21] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:37:22] Speaker D: Could you send my mother an autographed useless picture of yourself?
[00:37:26] Speaker B: I don't have any pictures of myself. Ethel, you're nice to ask, and I'm flattered that you would, but I really don't, because I don't. I haven't taken any pictures lately because I'm terribly concerned they'll look like me, and I don't really need that, you know, in this stage of my life.
Thank you. Oh, Ethel. Oh, she hung up, I guess.
[00:37:47] Speaker D: No, I'm still here.
[00:37:48] Speaker B: Oh, you're still there. Somebody hung up. Anyway, Jack, thank you very, very much.
[00:37:54] Speaker A: As Jack said, thank you.
I loved when Jack bullseyed Norm's funny bone with his Abigail Van Buren and Ann Landed in Press Shuns.
A single impression, but they're the same, you know what I mean? I rewound a few times to hear it again and laugh right along with it. I thought it was so funny that I actually created the first short for YouTube using that clip. It was just too good not to share separately. The dog days of August are upon us next week. So see you all then. Closing the vault and leaving this world a little sillier than we found it. Four time warping gadflies.
Dumb birthday game rule Readings. Nervousness. Caller versus listener Math. Hot babes. Ramadan. Caring questions. Odd laws. Fireworks. American ingenuity. Pope Gregory's calendar. Nude Recreation Week. Naked traffic reporters. Jerry Rivers. Goo goo Googly eyes. Al Capone's Vault on the Waterfront. Starring Jackie Mason, Norm's sister in law Ethel Love Lorne and Love Torn. The spit spray Twins Hut Letters saved in a tear stained scrapbook of memories. Bridge lollipops. Pedigreed thoroughbreds. Eavesdropping. Who's Penny? Technical things Learned in the Orient. Remarkable Broadway success.
Goo Goo Googly eyes. The reprise. Norm's old Yankee friend, Tom Bot. I hope I got that name correct. Myron Boskowicz. Saying agonizing things. Family perspectives and dead relatives. Artists and repertoires and photos not available. Our favorite Hungarian Gypsy princess. Grandmother Mike Epstein. Jack Hart. And the man who once had the top selling nude calendar in Italy. Photographed by Gina Lollobrigida.
Norm. Nathan Zarelli. I'm Antonio Nesbittini.
[00:39:57] Speaker C: They say that you get to 1% of all. Less than 1% of all callers are listening. So roughly how many calls do you take in the course of a night? And then multiply that by 100%.
[00:40:10] Speaker B: Okay. I would say 700 trillion d zillion. The million. The listeners, the billion d zillion. I say that's how many we have and that's a scientific fact.
[00:40:21] Speaker D: I wasn't nervous till you said.
